CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, October 30, 2019)
NEW YORK – The president is anything but inept, Doocer says. If he had wanted to do a quid pro quo, he would have done a quid pro quo, don’t you think, Brian? Killer leans forward on the couch. He says, Steve, there is no question. It would have been very finessed, very smooth, so smooth the American people wouldn’t even know – even with all the spies that Ukraine has pushed onto the NSC. The president, Steve, is a man of great subtlety. The spies wouldn’t know, the cabinet wouldn’t know, and the American people wouldn’t know. Doocer says, He is really astonishing, don’t you think? I mean in the midst of all this – the illegal House impeachment hearings, the turncoat testimony, the Fake News, the duplicity of Congress, with all of its lies, amidst all of this, the president is focusing on cultural affairs – not with the women, but with an orchestra! Ainsely, don’t we have some tape? Ainse breaks out in a great big smile, recrosses her legs, wrapping the right several times around the left, and says, We sure do, Steve. Here we can see the fabulous Atlantic City Chamber Orchestra and Municipal Waste Removal LLP arriving at Camp David for their private session with the president. Look at those instruments, Brian! They sure lug around a lot of music! Brian says, They sure do. Looks like there are a lot of saxophones in that orchestra. Steve says, And cellos, and that one, with the big guy in the bright blue pinstripe and the fedora, that one looks like a heckuva big double bass! These guys are ready to make some music. Doocer says, You think? Meanwhile, inside Aspen Lodge, Donald sits at the head of a conference table. Joey, he says, where’s Billy Fingers? Joey looks glum. He says, It’s a sad tale boss. You don’t wanna know. Donald says, Where the heck is Black Dom? Joey says, He couldn’t make it, boss. You know how it is. Donald says, Yeah. Those were the days, right Joey? Joey says, Yeah, boss, they were. Donald says, We’ve got a problem now, okay. We got a serious problem. We need some dough. Joey, you hear anything from Geneva? Joey says, Not since the last drop from Rudy. Donald says, Okay. You gotta check Geneva because we have a serious problem that only Geneva can solve – unless I let loose with the big one, and I don’t wanna do that, you know. Once you do the big one, you can’t do it again, so you gotta be sure. Joey says, I can get Rudy. Donald says, Our two friends from overseas, the ones that are in the bird cages now, we don’t want them chirping. I hate chirping. I hate birds. They give me bad gas, you know what I mean, Joey. Joey says, Yeah, boss, I do. – Wednesday, October 30, 2019