CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, July 17, 2019)
WASHINGTON – The Times guy pushes his way into the Off the Record bar, sees the Post guy through the crowd, and makes it over to his table. The Post guy says, Hey. The Times guy says, Barkeep! A couple more BrewDogs! He looks around. The Times guy says, Geez, crowded in here tonight. Don’t think I’ve ever seen it so crowded, not even on New Year’s. The Post guy says, You’ve never been here on New Year’s. The Times guy says, True, but I’ve been to other places. Always crowded, but not like this. What’s going on? The Post guy says, Drinking. Lots of drinking. The Times guy says, Yeah. I can see that. It’s been pretty bad. The vote tonight was pretty unusual. The tweets were unusual. The whole ball of wax – unusual The Post guy says, That’s a good way to put it. I’d say the fallout is pretty unusual too. The Times guy says, Yeah. Hard to believe. Did you know that the federal government itself, Donald’s federal government uses the phrase “go back where you came from” as the classic example of workplace harassment based on race? You can look it up. The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission says employees should look out for it. The Times guy says, Well, a lot of people think there’s nothing wrong with it. There were the women Randi interviewed on CNN. They pointed out that Donald couldn’t be saying anything racist because he didn’t mention anybody’s color. Yeah, says the Post guy, They said they know the president is not racist. He loves people from Hispanics to black people, all across the board. The Times guy says, The congresswomen he attacked, they’re the racists. The Post guy says, If they aren’t racist, how come they haven’t befriended one of their white female congresswomen colleagues and let her join? The Times guy says, They won’t. They don’t like white people, come on. They are racist. The two reporters fall silent. The Times guy says, How American this all is. I’m not the racist, you’re the racist. Maybe I’m saying something you think is racist, but that’s on you. I haven’t got a racist bone in my body. He sighs. The Post says, What about your racist soft tissue? The Times guy says, My pancreas? The Post guy says, Racist? Don’t forget your heart. The Times guy says, And my brain. Then there is the whole crew of hand wringers concerned that Donald ginned all of this up to make these four women the face of the Democrat Party. The Post guy says, I thought Maxine was the face of the party. The Times guy says, she was the face of the party a couple of months ago. She’s already peaked. There’s a new face. Four new faces. The Post guy takes a pull on his BrewDog. He says, There’s always gonna be a new face, or an old face, or a new outrage, or an old fabrication. It’s a year and a half until November. I kinda think Bernie or Joe or Elizabeth or Kamala, I kinda think they’re gonna be the face of the party. Like, one of them, or somebody else, is actually gonna be running for president as the face of the party. Hey, says the Times guy, Don’t forget Mayor Pete or the Asian guy. – Wednesday, July 17, 2019