CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, January 30, 2019)
WASHINGTON — Roger leaves the studio and walks out of the building to the top of the steps. A vast crowd is arrayed before him. Roger is pleased with the turnout. He raises his arms flashing a v for victory sign. The crowd roars. Roger breaks out in a big smile. Lock him up! Lock him up! Roger basks. A hipster shouts, Don’t point your finger at me, Daddy-o – I’ll cut it off. Roger points and waves. The sun glints off his white head. The Times guy in the crowd turns to a middle-aged woman wearing a MAGA button. The crowd chants. Lock him up! Lock him up! The Times guy says, What do you think? The woman says, These people are so rude! He is an older gentleman who is supportive of our president. I support our president. Why don’t you ever report that? The Times guy says, So Mr. Stone is charged with lying to Congress and threatening to take Randy Credico’s dog. The woman says, That Credico. Doesn’t he remind you of Lurch? He is a monster! I like Matt Whitaker. He’s like The Rock. I just know he’s going to take down the Scorpion King. The Times guy says, What? The woman says, The Scorpion King, Mueller, who’s been raised from limbo by Nancy Pelosi, who’s the embodiment of Agripinna the Younger, you know, the mother of Nero. You remember, she poisoned Claudius. But the president is on to all this and they’re not gonna get away with it. The Times guy is backing away as the woman continues. She says, Podesta says Stone is pulling a Frankie Five Angels, everybody knows that means they’re going to suicide Mr. Stone. The Times guy is backing faster. She shouts, Find the bodies beneath the courtyard! The Times guy is moving fast now, anything to put some distance between himself and the woman. He backs right into the Post guy. Hey! Watch out! The Times guy says, Sorry. I was just trying to get away from this crazy lady! I don’t know where these people come from or why they’re here. It’s wild. The Post guy says, Yeah some of them are really out there. It’s a mystery. They turn toward Roger who is now shouting from the top of the steps: … and they have murdered, murdered! more than 40 people, decent people, maybe 83 people, actually, loyal Hillary supporters, just wasted them, like it’s a night in the hood. And Bush, who is responsible for going after President Reagan, wasn’t happy until he could bring down the WTC. So, they go after JFK. They go after Reagan. They take down the WTC just to get at Building Seven. Is it any surprise, any surprise, that Mueller is coming after me and importuning me, begging me to bear false witness? But I will not! The crowd roars. The chant begins, Lock him up! Lock him up! On the other side of the crowd: Lock her up! Lock her up! Roger looks out over it all and smiles.
— Wednesday, Jan. 30, 2019