CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, January 29, 2020)
WILDWOOD NJ – Now they want Batshit Bolton, Donald tells Stephen before the big Wildwood rally with its boardwalk vendors hawking Donald cutouts and Melania tee shirts with the big bazooms. Donald says, They want Walrus Johnny, who’s been carrying water for Nervous Nancy and Liddle Schiffty for years. I fired him! Stephen says, Absolutely! You can fire anyone and do anything. Donald says, That’s the problem, and now Bitter Batshit is coming out as a Democrat tool, a tool. You see the dress he’s wearing these days? He came out. Now he’s wearing a dress. Stephen says, We’re at the beach. I can get a bunch of Joey’s pals to kick sand. Donald seems not to hear. He says, They are all coming after me. Do you know why? Stephen says, Because you are the greatest president in the entire history. Donald says, Yes. Yes. There is a crushing chant from the arena. USA! USA! USA! Donald says, They’re calling for me. Donald climbs the stairs and enters the arena to resounding cheers. He waves. He claps. He walks back and forth on the stage like a manatee on a melting iceberg seeking warm water. He pauses. He tells the crowd, Qasem Soleimani was responsible for murdering and wounding thousands of Americans and actively planning new attacks, but we stopped him cold. Yet Washington Democrats like Crazy Bernie Sanders and Nervous Nancy Pelosi, they opposed our action to save American lives. They opposed it. They oppose it. You know the roadside bombs that you see hurting our people and lots of other people so badly. The legs, the arms wiped out. No legs, no arms. Soleimani loved that, that was his weapon of choice. We didn’t like him. He’s not around anymore. While we are creating jobs and killing terrorists, congressional Democrats are obsessed with demented hopes, crazy witch hunts and deranged partisan crusades.It’s all they know how to do. The do-nothing. Democrats — they’ve spent the last three years and probably even before I came down on that beautiful escalator with our beautiful future first lady, trying to overthrow the last election, which they could not do, even with the Ukrainian witches casting spells and cooking their potions and hoaxes, trying to undo what was not yet but will be because its all tied together, as you know, probably better than anybody, and we will make sure that they face another crushing defeat in the next election. They were going after me even before I was on that escalator, you know, what some call the stairway to heaven because we are making all of it heaven, not just the sky, not just the clouds, and we are wiping out the AIDS, which Obama didn’t bother with, the AIDS which has killed so many of the blacks and the gays, which, I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but if you drink bleach, it will kill the China bug, so if you’re worried about getting a bug, drink the bleach. The crowd is cheering. Many rally goers hold their bottles of bleach aloft. And Donald beams. – Wednesday, January 29, 2020