CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, January 23, 2019)
Mick is explaining the deal that Mitch is working on. Donald, Stephen, John, Mike, Matt, and a number of others are around the conference room table next to the Oval. Mick drones on. He says, Now if Mitch can get the vote on….. Donald is looking around as Mick speaks. He suddenly gets up and wanders out of the room, down the hall, and into the mini-lounge. He switches on the teevee and mutes it. The Fox chyrons stream by. Freshman congresswoman needs to take a break. Freshman congresswoman says world is coming to end. Freshman congresswoman in nude selfie scandal. President to meet with world leaders. President reopens parts of OSHA. President offers regulatory relief…. Donald stares at the chyrons, one after another. Stephen looks into the room. He says, It’s over. Donald says, So fucking boring. Stephen says, Don’t worry, sir. No matter how boring it is, the goal is firmly in our crosshairs. The Wall will go up. The illegals will be thrown out. The country will be safe. Those are the goals. They are achievable. We are winning. Donald says, The important thing is that all these deadbeats get tossed out. We need to keep the essentials up and running — the dereg process, the sale of drilling rights, the forest shit, mortgage sales, the post office historic site. I don’t want to hear that anything else is essential, okay, there’s nothing else that’s essential. Our deals are what matters. Stephen says, Yes sir, I understand. Rudy is out there throwing sand into everything. Nobody knows what he’s talking about. Donald says, Good, good. Let’s have a story about how angry I am. That should grab a lot of headlines. Rudy is very good at this. Who knew? Stephen says, Everything is going smoothly. Donald says, Gotta keep on the black thing too. They are tampering with the voting. Gotta keep on the women. They think locker room talk is abuse. Stephen says, Ridiculous. Unbelievable that anyone would consider making a joke into a crime. Speaking of which, we are working on the Rick Wilson problem. Donald says, What’d he say now? Stephen says, He’s disrespecting me, and all the work we’re doing. Donald says, How? Stephen says, Wilson maintains that the generous deal you offered to end the shutdown is like working out a deal with your roommate to lower the rent and then taking it to the landlord. He says that’s not the way it works. Donald says, I’m a landlord. I think it’s a great way to work. Stephen says, The really unacceptable thing he said is the deal has the pernicious fingerprints of Stephen Miller. Miller wants to reduce immigration — unauthorized, authorized, legal — in every possible way, because he has concerns about the demographic integrity of the current majority of the country and that’s fundamentally what’s driving this. Donald says, Does Wilson have a mole in here? We need to question the staff! Stephen says, Wilson goes on to say, Stephen Miller’s hand appears in every immigration deal that this White House has had. He’s disrespecting your hard work, sir. It’s an outrage. He then goes on to say that there’s something deeply wrong with Stephen Miller — I think we can all acknowledge that. And maybe someday he’ll have a relationship with a live human woman. Donald says, Find the fucking mole! Does he know about the grabbing by the pussy? Tell him that. Tell him about the pussy grabbing. Go ahead. With the new guidelines, you can say anything you want.
— Wednesday, Jan. 23, 2019