CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, January 2, 2019)
Deep beneath the luke-warm stubbled fields, the Dark Ones sit within the Chamber of Consternation, a new vaulted addition to the vast central plains complex. The space is filled with screens showing selected scenes from the CCTV network deployed across the land on streets and in office buildings. The elder brother, sipping his green tea, says, The gambler showman has thrown away the script, my brother. We are short the markets, to be sure, but the turmoil is worrisome. Perhaps the one they call Mitt will bring calm to the so-called Congress. Our couriers have deposited ample sums in his Cayman accounts and in the accounts of other key supporters. Pompeo the Thirsty reports that the showman wishes to gas the entire southern region and send in troops. The younger says, The markets sense this erratic behavior and are responding accordingly. Gas on the southern border is certainly something Father would understand. It could prove a useful distraction, in my estimation. What says Pompeo the Thirsty? The elder leans over and extracts a thick folder from a briefcase. He says, This is his most recent report. Pompeo works hard to open the sluice gates on our Swiss accounts, for certain, but his information, provided directly to us, is invaluable, is it not? The younger says, Indeed. We retain our hold on the servi, and those they believe are their representatives. There are those who expect political division in the lower chamber to prove troublesome. I think not. It may well be too late. The gambler showman has displayed the low animal cunning that Father most favored in his dealings with the eastern despot in Moscow and the German upstart in Berlin. And the showman has proven nimble, in his fashion. Who would think that he would pass our tax cut and sell the increasingly impoverished servi on its vast benefits to them? I doubted, I admit. Who would believe he would install all of our people in the courts? I doubted. I was incorrect. Who would believe he could convince the servi that frail and starving children and women were akin to murderous drug gangs and overlords? I doubted, I admit. The younger brother says, Father would certainly be proud of the way we have used the Hoosier puppet to direct the showman and to hide all traces of our activities and the activities of the current eastern despot. Kudos to the one they call Mitch! His carapace is as effective as the carapace of any crustacean. He cares nothing for the well-being of anyone other than ourselves and vassals such as himself. A sweet and effective servant. Yes, says the elder brother, this year starts well. Gas drifting over the southern border. Mitt the Grasping adding to the oleaginous faction in the Congress. All remain afraid of the showman, and the Hoosier puppet is miraculously free of taint, ready to step in should it be required. All in all, things could be much worse and hardly better. The brothers nod in satisfaction, ring for refills of their tea, and turn their attention to the Washington CCTV feeds which reveal almost everything.