CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, December 26, 2018)
Donald and Stephen are in the office off the Oval. Donald says, What am I supposed to do? Tell the little twit that some mythical German volk figure is gonna fly through the sky with a bunch of deer and drop shit down her chimney? Is that what the president of the United States is supposed to say? No, I can’t say that, and besides Erdogan is telling me he’s a friggin Turk, so I’m supposed to say that Santa is a Muslim? Is that what I’m supposed to tell the little buggers? A Muslim is on the roof dropping packages down the chimney? Even what’s her face, Krusty or Kristie or whatever, at Homeland Security, would bust a vessel and say it’s not so and that we’d never let some Muslims drive their deer right into the country, help them even by giving them protection from NORAD. Maybe Bush and Obama were okay with that, Obama went for it for sure, but Donald J. Trump? Trump is not okay with it and do you know why? Stephen says, It’s unbelievable what they say, the kinds of marginal things they believe. No, I don’t. Donald says, We are continuing with the fucking wall. Stephen says, Absolutely. Donald says, Look at all these letters. Donald gets up from his chair and opens a closet door. The closet is stuffed with envelopes, floor to ceiling. Some spill out into the office onto the floor. Donald picks one up. He says, These are all letters that many people wrote begging me to continue fighting for their wall. These are good Americans, many of them government workers, and they want their wall to keep out people who are not Americans but wish they could be if we let them. But we are not going to let them! Not unless we get their wall to keep them out. Once the wall is there, then they can come in, but not before! Donald shakes the envelope in his hand. He is angry. Stephen says, Let’s hear what they have to say. Donald opens the envelope, pulls out the paper, which is stained with a brown glob and is kind of sticky with some green stuff. Donald drops it on the conference table, pulls out his gloves, puts them on, and begins reading the letter. He says, Okay, this one is so typical. It’s from somebody named Kathy or something, or maybe it’s Dawn or Fawn. Maybe Allie B. or D. So this is the kind of thing I’m fighting for. It says, Dear etc. etc., Train – they want the trains to run on time even though my trains run more on time than Obama’s or any other trains in the history of presidents, and etc., etc. Okay. It says, blah blah blah, and the wall will it be so high he can’t fly over? Etc. etc. Okay. So that’s the kind of thing I’m talking about. People are concerned that the Pelosi is going to make it so they can vault over the wall or come in with some kind of personal drone, which a lot of them have, the MS13, and a lot of other bad hombres. So that’s why we are here, Stevie, we are not going to give in on the beaches or in the deserts or on the mountains or wherever.
–Wednesday, Dec. 26, 2018