CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, Dec. 5, 2018)
Raj stepped into the briefing room and said, The president dined with other presidents and discussed matters of presidential importance. After dinner and some serious talks on matters of high consequence, the president retired to the residence and conducted a series of telephone calls with the leaders of nations around the world. In response to expressions of enthusiastic support, the president minimized the chants — We want Trump! — echoing through the burning streets of Paris, modestly pointing out that he is already leader of the Free World at this time. The president cheered the denunciation of the climate accord by his dear friend Emmanuel Macron and the beautiful French protestors, noting that there will be no whitewashing of the dirty polluters. The president told a conference call of multiple world leaders: I want clean air and clean water and have been making great strides in improving America’s environment. But American taxpayers – and American workers – shouldn’t pay to clean up others countries’ pollution. (Jonathan commented on the president’s presidential demeanor.) Raj said, The president concluded the evening with words of condolence for his dear friends in the Bush family. Specifically, the presidential text read, “Sorry for the loss. DJT.” The pool reporter asked for the president’s reaction to the sentencing recommendation for former national security advisor Mike Flynn. Raj said that the president has no reaction and is unconcerned. Raj said that the president is currently absorbed by his evening study of the most recent edition of Lankes, Sadikov, Elborgh-Woytek, Hallaert, and Smith’s Fiscal Implications of Multilateral Tariff Cuts. Raj directed reporters to the president’s attorney, the Honorable Rudy Giuliani, for further comment on the Flynn matter. Reporters sought reaction from Mr. Giuliani, who said, There’s a Yiddish word that fits. They don’t have bubkes. If Flynn had information to share with Mueller that hurt the president, you would know it by now. Asked to elaborate, Mr. Giuliani said, Wow big crime for a SPECIAL WHATEVER maybe a group of Angry Bitter Hillary Supporters who are justifying themselves by the goal justifies the means….Over the top In ethical behavior. Mr. Giuliani further complained about the use of social media algorithms, remarking: Twitter allowed someone to invade my text with a disgusting anti-President message. The same thing-period no space-occurred later and it didn’t happen. Don’t tell me they are not committed cardcarrying anti-Trumpers. Time Magazine also may fit that description. FAIRNESS PLEASE. The pool reporter determined that Mr. Giuliani referred to his earlier Tweet in which an inadvertent typo created a hyperlink that led readers to the following message: “Donald J. Trump is a traitor to our country.” This message has now been amplified with comment on the Flynn sentencing memorandum: “Special counsel calls ex-National Security Adviser Michael Flynn’s cooperation ‘substantial,’ recommends no jail time.” This ends the evening pool report.
— Wednesday, Dec. 5, 2018