CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, August 28, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Donald and Stephen are dining in an office off the Oval. Stephen watches Donald’s putt rim the cup and roll under the desk. Donald says, See that! Right in! A putt the, I’d say, the entire length of the putt. Incredible shot. Stephen finishes his taco and says, Beautiful. No one could do that. No one. Not even Tiger. Donald says, Tiger’s good, but he’s not that good. Stephen says, We’ve got the poll numbers, you know. Everyone is with you. You’ve got your people exactly where you need them. They are completely behind you, in a very important way, a good way. Donald says, Behind me. Stephen says, Bill says they seem soft to him, but I told him you don’t take soft. You are not about soft. Bill says the base is hungry. But I told him you know, sir, when to feed the base. Donald tosses his putter into the corner, sits down, and crosses his arms. He says, Open up the mouths, you know. You open up the mouths and you stuff the shit in. Many times. Soft? Telling our people to just crush the coyote lovers in Nogales is soft? Obama stuck them all there in the first place. We’re gonna pull em out and if they get in the way, we’re just gonna build the fuck over them. Pardons for everybody. We will bury them! Soft? It’s soft to kick these blood sucking kids out of the country? We’re gonna ditch the sick ones first. They got a month here at the most and then they are history. They are gone, back to the shitholes and the places nobody even knows about and we will never hear from them again. That’s soft? Maybe we cut it to two weeks? Doable, doable, very doable. We’re not cutting the cripples any slack, neither, okay. None. Terminal? Terminal? What kind of bullshit is that anyway? Terminal is just a stopping point on the way to wherever. We’re gonna bring back the capital too. Nothing better than the capital to get rid of them. The wall is practically done. Bolsy the Jungle Chief is willing to deal on the jungle. Mr. Appalachian Trail is lost in the woods. Pocahontas is on the warpath, spilling the blood all over. Ha ha ha. Mr. Tough Guy is wrestling the bedbugs and the bedbugs are winning. Soft? We’re gonna try some new techniques on this hurricane the Puerto Ricans are dying for. We are in good shape. The best shape. Mr. Bedbug should go work at Fox, you know, because they are full of fleas already and we are not gonna bother with them any more. They are not worth it. Bedbug’s not worth it. The Failing and Treasonous New York Times and their vote-fraud scam operation with the spooks and the spies and all the rest aren’t worth it. But I will fight anyway for Our Great Country and for the Patriot Farmers and the undertakers by the windmills that we are going to drive into the ocean. No fucking problem. — Wednesday, August 28, 2019