CSI: American Carnage (Wednesday, April 10, 2019)
THE CENTRAL PLAINS — Deep beneath the thawed fields and the receding flood waters, beneath the few chirping birds still left to herald the spring, beneath the drowned cows and the debris dropped from the tornados, the Dark Ones sit on the Seats of Strategy in the Chamber of Contrivance. The room, deep within the north-central sector of the vast central plains complex, is largely silent but for the buzzing from the live-feed screens monitoring activity in Washington DC, Mar-a-Lago, and a run-down house in Atlantic City, headquarters for Joey No Socks. The brothers bear looks of gloom and consternation on their faces and their new green tea sits in glasses, forgotten on the side table. The elder recrosses his legs and says, Do you think, my brother, that the gambler showman has turned against us? Do you think he has harbored treason from the moment we began pouring money into his coffers? Do you think he can be diverted from pursuing this disastrous course? First the crazed tariffs and now the threat to close the southern border, source of labor, source of soothing narcotics, and most importantly, the gateway for billions and billions of dollars flowing to us. We have spent decades building a network designed to extract funds from all, and the gambler showman is explicitly, explicitly, my brother, focusing his attention on disruption and destruction. It is difficult for me to say this, but perhaps we should consider returning to some of Father’s more unsavory approaches to business. Remember the Chicago mayor? He was shaking hands with another, more notorious public figure, when the disgruntled Zangara shot him. The younger brother broods during this speech, placing his fingertips together in silence. Finally he says, My brother, Do you really believe we should proceed with such a preposterous scheme? Father was building an empire, a messy business. He could afford to remove Cermak from the picture. Let us be blunt: Chicago was a lucrative trade center, and Father needed to control all rights of way in order to complete his grand design. We are in a different position. Do not forget, Father did not pursue the communist then in Washington. He let him go. It is true that we have paid the price for that decision. The communist’s legacy lingers for the moment, sucking up our money. But Father made a decision, rightly or wrongly, that pursuit of immediate business interests superseded the long-term threat of the communist president. Our situation is even more complex. The gambler showman has put billions in our pockets with his duplicitous tax package. He has removed many obstacles to our extraction and transportation activities. Does that outweigh the onerous burdens of the tariffs? He is now talking about blocking trade with our Euro protectorate. The Eastern Despot encourages him in this folly. I do believe the gambler showman is mad. The elder brother listens thoughtfully. Finally he says, Where is the Hoosier puppet? We have not been able to follow his movements in recent days. The younger brother says, New surveillance devices are being installed now in Las Vegas and Beverly Hills and we should have the puppet in view shortly. The elder brother says at last, What, my brother, would Father do in a similar situation? The younger looks over and says, We both know the answer to that, my brother, which is best left to the history that will never be written. — Wednesday, April 10, 2019