CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, November 27, 2018)
Doocer makes his serious face and looks straight at the camera. I want everyone out there to be aware that we are about to show graphic video that may prove upsetting to many viewers. Killer says, We don’t want anyone to be upset, so you may want to get some coffee in the kitchen for the next few moments. Doocer says, This will not be the president who traveled to Mississippi last night to embrace the surging candidacy of Cindy Hyde-Smith. We will have the complete video of the president’s moving Mississippi experience in the next segment. Killer says, Also coming up will be our exclusive report, The Lies of Mueller. We will bring you that at the top of the hour. Plus we may have a special guest phoning in shortly after that. I don’t want to tip our hand, but it will be hard to trump that exclusive report. But first, Steve, do you want to kick this off? Ainsley says, Let me intro guys. Killer says, Next one Ains. I think Steve should intro his own exclusive report, Mrs. Castro Goes to Washington and Plots to Blow it Up. Steve? Doocer says, Thanks guys. It is a shocking thing, truly shocking, but Fidel Castro’s granddaughter has been elected to the House and will be assuming her seat in January. Video images of bombs exploding in Iraq flash across the screen. Black-hooded jihadis wield massive swords. Prisoners kneel. Swords are raised. Explosions fill the screen. Doocer continues, What kind of radical revolutionary is the spawn of the communist dictator? Meet Alexandria Ocasio-Castro, a hardened leftist who grew up in luxury in suburban Bronx, a swank bedroom community outside of Manhattan. She’ll be bringing her violent anarchism to the House where her upstart supporters plan to roll over everyone who is already there. Our nihilism analyst Charley Payne is concerned about the threat posed by Alex and her radical left friends. Charley comes on in a video report: They’re like bulls in a china shop, he says, they just want to create havoc. Doocer says, Here is seasoned journalist Phil Wegmann. Phil says, The question for Republicans is how do they want to respond. Are they going to continue with a nice-guy sort-of schtick, like we saw out of Paul Ryan, who is a lovable policy wonk, or Kevin McCarthy, who is, you know, the affable friend of everybody in Congress ? Or are they going to respond like Newt Gingrich would have and really bring the hammer down. These Castro cadres are brutal, in my opinion, and you have to be brutal with brutal. They are already making their moves. Here is the photo Eddie took of the Castro woman walking down a corridor in the capital. See how wide she is? Very broad in the beam. It’s unnatural. We think, and our experts agree, that she’s packing something beneath the suit. Got it wrapped around the butt. See the bulges there? Then there are the shoes. Ominous. The video cuts to Rachel Campos-Duffy. She says, This is socialism at its best. The Castro woman worships Venezuela. She venerates her grandfather who passed many messages on to her. Many messages. She leads the Castro cult in Congress. This is a woman who wants to turn America into Venezuela, where people don’t have shoes on their feet because of what socialism has done to their country. So she is flaunting it. She will remove the shoes of every hardworking American. Every one. And she will burn them and blow them up. In my opinion this is a very terrifying situation. The shoes are signaling terrorism. The body bombs. The Castro connection. What we see here is Terrorist Fist-Jab Redux.
— Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2018