CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, November 19, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Donald is talking on his cell. Goddamn it Keith! Maybe you heard that I’m dead, but damn it, I am not dead! I am never dead which is the whole point. We are changing everything. We are getting under the skin. We are growing. Every day we are a new growth. So now the Fake News™ and their henchmen in the Democrat Party of Traitors, they want to make us dead. But We are not Dead Keith! Not even close. This may be coming from Mike — the little sniveler thinks he can worm out of what he’s supposed to do, but We are not allowing it. There is no way he’s gonna walk away from this. No fucking way. They are all pussies, Keith, soft, buttery pussies who don’t want to hold Traitors accountable, they should all be lined up. Hold on a second. Donald puts the phone down and pushes aside a mass of fuzzy white stuff spreading across the side table. He brushes off a part of a cheeseburger, and eats it. He picks up the phone and says, They all expect to come back here and work on my dime! My dime. My dime. Like I’m made of dimes. It’s disgusting. It’s unacceptable. Okay, okay, we use the double every once in awhile, okay, the one we had in the other hotel with you know who I’m talking about with the big tits. That was the one from MBS. But we use a flesh-based one, I forget who it is, but does a terrible me. I’d rather have the MBS model out there. But he won’t do what’s gotta be done, none of these people will. Keith maybe you should come back and work here, we can make it really good for you. I need somebody I can trust. All these fakers, who can trust them? It’s not like the good old days when you would do some stuff and we wouldn’t say a word about it, nobody would know. Now my guy can’t take a piss in an alley they’re all over him. They collect the piss, Keith! Can you believe it? They collect the piss! My guy goes into the alley and leaks and they suck up the piss! That’s what they do. The piss, Keith! But the funny thing is, they don’t know that it’s fake piss, it’s piss Cohen collected for years. We got jars of it downstairs because, Keith, as you know, you never know. You need jars of Piss, Keith. Jars of piss from anybody for the DNA, which they are trying to get from me. We’ll give them the Piss and they can slurp it up in their goddamn machines until the fucking cows come home Keith, until the fucking cows come home. – Tuesday, November 19, 2019