CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, March 5, 2019)
WASHINGTON — Donald sips his diet coke. He turns to Jare. Donald says, This Nadler, this congressman, why does he hound me? He has set the hounds of hell on me. We are at war because of this Nadler, this congressman who has no respect with his letters and his document grabs and his tape recorders and flunky investigators. No respect. No honor. He is not a man. He is not serious. And he is pecking and pecking and pecking. Fucking pecker. Donald’s voice rises and he hurls the can of diet coke to the floor; it bounces up and flips a pizza box off the side table, covering the teevee with pepperoni and tomato sauce. Donald says, Don’t we have these people on the payroll? What do we pay them for? Jare says, We do. We do. But they are weak. They are becoming afraid. Their lies lack flair. Donald says, Then we will stiffen them up. They are men! Not like the children and the women, who cannot be stiffened because they are soft, which is the natural state of the children and the women. Only my Baby Doll has the steel in her back, the iron in her veins. She remains serious. Jare says, I know. I am familiar with her steel. I know her iron. And don’t forget the leather. I know that too, the leather that comes late at night when the rest of the world sleeps. Donald says, Not Baby Doll. Baby Doll never sleeps. We will discuss the leather later. Let’s just say this Nasty Nadler fears her sting. She is not on his list. Jare says, She is not. We made it clear that her inclusion on any lists would be taken seriously. Donald looks at Jare for a moment. He says, It is a momentary reprieve. This Nadler, this goon, this disrespectful Jew, although he is not really a Jew, he is a Mexican from Mexico but we will call him a Jew for now, this Nadler nothing, he will will come back, that is the nature of war in these the modern times. A war can be fought in fits and starts; it can be fought in great waves, the dead rising like piles of the dead. Serious men learn from history. They learn from their mistakes. This is business now, Jare. Business. Do you hear me? Jare says, Of course, father. Of course I hear you. But this is not like the old days. This is not New York business. This is Washington business. Wars here are fought on the phone lines and on the teevees. Not on the streets. Donald smiles. He wraps his arms around the flag standing in the corner. He makes a strange movement with his hips. Donald says, Jare. We are aware of how modern warfare is conducted. That is why we have a payroll. We have tivo, don’t forget. We have the cellular. We know how to arrest attention. We know that the best disguise is no disguise. Please. I thought you were serious. I thought you respected my family. We brought you in. We set you up with Mohammed. We let you do business. We accepted a small token, a token of respect. Now you turn around and suggest we are living on the streets in the past? We don’t remember the past. We care nothing for the past. Now get Bill in here and put Rupe on speaker. There is some serious business to discuss.
— Tuesday, March 5, 2019