CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, March 31, 2020)
WASHINGTON – The Times guy gazes up at Donald, pencil in hand. The Post guy deploys his tape recorder. They are deep into the Rose Garden presser when Donald calls on Jim. Is it a mistake? Is it planned? The Times guy looks at the Post guy, across 10 feet of empty folding chairs. The Post guy aims his phone at Donald. Jim says, Sir, what do you say to Americans who are upset with you over the way you… Donald looks exasperated and pleased. He says, Here we go. Jim says, … downplayed this crisis over the last couple of months? We have it very much under control in this country. The coronavirus is very much under control in the USA. It’s going to disappear. It’s like a miracle. It will disappear. March 4th: We have a very small number of people in this country infected. March 10th: We’re prepared. We’re doing a great job with it. It will go away. Just stay calm. It will go away. Donald leans over the mic and scowls. He holds his hands up, palms facing. He says, Well, isn’t it true? It will go away. Jim says, What do you say to Americans who believe that you got this wrong? Donald continues, And I do want them to stay calm. And we are doing a great job. If you look at those individual statements, they’re all true. Stay calm. It will go away. You know it, you know it is going away, and it will go away. And we’re going to have a great victory. And it’s people like you and CNN that say things like that, that, it’s why people just don’t want to listen to CNN anymore. You could ask a normal question. The statements I made are: I want to keep the country calm. I don’t want to, panic in the country. I could cause panic much better than even you. I could do much, I would make you look like a minor league player. But you know what? I don’t want to do that. I want to have our country be calm and strong, and fight and win, and it will go away. And it is incredible the job that all of these people are doing, putting them all together, in a pile, the job that they’re doing. I am very proud of the job they’re doing, that Mike Pence is doing, that the task force has done, that Honeywell and Procter & Gamble and Mike, who is not a corporation, but is a person, which the courts understand, and all of these people have done. I’m very proud. It’s, it’s almost a miracle, and it is – the way it’s all come together. And instead of asking a nasty, snarky question like that, you should ask a real question. Like a real person with a question. And other than that, I’m going to go to somebody else. Please. Please go ahead. You, in the back there, yes, you, I don’t know you. Ask. The reporter says, Sir, what do you say to the millions of Americans hunkered down in the bunkers, plenty of canned goods, bottled water, beans, entrenching tools at the ready, but running out of ammo, running out of lube, et cetera. They are there to fight and defend against this invisible enemy, fight until the rations are gone and the doors are bursting and the enemy pushing into the women. Donald says, Our great Second Amendment people, strong on our Constitution, strong on self defense, strong on our vets and our great patriot farmers, they are vital, essential, you might say — we are consider them vital, and, you know, we have ruled that workers supporting the operation of firearm or ammunition product manufacturers, that would cover a lot of what you’re saying, the retailers, importers, distributors and shooting ranges — they’ve all been removed from the quarantine list, the stop list, and they are open, open for business, they are vital, so that’s where Mike says, and many say, you can go to pick up your ammunition and any gun that you can want. The Times guy closes his eyes and the Post guy takes deep, yoga breaths and thinks of the vast land with all of its green. – Tuesday, March 31, 2020