CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, July 16, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Let me tell ya something Stevie, Donald says, pass the ketchup, will ya, and the coke, no, the glass, and gimme the remote, okay, because I want ya to see this because I really lay it out to these disgusting racist bigots who think they can say whatever they want to say in Our Country and get away with it, which is absolutely disgusting, and a terrible thing and the way the Fake News™ is lying its ass off is just a lie, a bunch of lies, because many people don’t know that many of the immigrants love me, they love me, even though I’m not sometimes a big fan of what they do, but they know that no one loves immigrants more than Donald J. Trump, and all you have to do is look in the mirror, but if you come in here, or even if you’re kidnapped and brought here, okay, once you’re here, you’re here and you gotta make the best of it and this is a tremendous place to make the best of it because this is the greatest country with the greatest military and the jobs, many jobs, now that I brought it all back, I did, it wasn’t the communists that they love, it wasn’t the Jew-haters, the anti-Semitics, it wasn’t the Israel-bashers that they love and that ignore our greatest friend, and tear it down, and then they talk about the idiot who calls me names and insults Our Great Country, and look at what happened to that nitwit, okay, out on his ass, which was probably too good for him because if it was me, I’d take him out onto Fifth Avenue, Stevie, get this, we set up a spot on Fifth Avenue, maybe in front of Bergdorf’s, or maybe Sak’s, down from Trump Tower, and we do the teevee show, like Judge Judy, but it’d be somebody much tougher, much tougher, cause you can’t pussyfoot with these people, and, so, okay, and we have the trials, the first big shows launched on Trump TeeVee, and we bring these four up, okay, and we bring in my blacks to watch, we give out the passes and the papers to my blacks, but not the other blacks because you gotta be careful with the blacks and my blacks are the best blacks, all vetted and inspected, because many people don’t know this, but the blacks, they love to watch, born watchers, so if these people who happen to be women, surprise, surprise, they can get to the women, which is true, it’s true, they can get to them because women are easy to influence, okay, but if these ones are so great, let em show everybody how great they are, Judge Jeanne, a woman, can emcee it, or maybe I will, no, just kidding, I don’t want to do that, but Judge Jeanne can do the job, she can be a bitch but a great bitch, a tremendous bitch, but a grabber, which I don’t like but that’s okay and she can pronounce them guilty of the disrespect and the false, and Hillary and Obama can be up there defending them, if they’re so great they’ve got nothing to worry about, and we can bring in guest commentators, some of the great minds, tremendous intellects, and they can talk about it, and not like these other teevee people who are so boring, boring, so boring, but more like juiced Fox, Fox on the juice, with music, the theme, and then these people can talk about how great this country is and they can decide to leave because at that point it’ll be their choice and their choice alone. — Tuesday, July 16, 2019