CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, January 28, 2020)
NEW YORK – Killer raises his hand to make his key point. Okay, he says, the Bolton book is a game changer, Steve, once it’s out there, it’s impossible to imagine the president acquitted without the witnesses. Bring them in and sit them down in the witness chair. If they do not sit, you must acquit. Doocer says, Brian, don’t you mean, if they sit you must acquit? Killer says, Absolutely. Doocer says, Our old friend Sen. Jim Inhoffe says Bolton is just peddling smears. He’s disgruntled. He’s bitter. The president fired him. And we’ve heard from other people, closely tied to the White House, who say, Look, John Bolton is simply trying to sell a book. Ainse, in the brightest of yellow outfits, entwines her right leg around the left, and interjects, I didn’t want witnesses, I wanted this thing to be over! she says. Doocer says, It’ll add a day or so — after the masterful presentations yesterday. Our old friend Alan Dershowitz gave a master class! You can’t even impeach without crimelike behavior! What are they thinking? Crimelike behavior is what you impeach for, not the cleansing of corruption. You don’t impeach a president for doing his job! Ainse says, And our old friend Pam Bondi gave a master class in corruption. A master class! And she’s one of the great students of corruption. What a great team the president has. And these Bidens, they are so corrupt! I feel dirty just thinking about them. Put them on the stand. Make sure everybody has a moonsuit to prevent infection. If you’re going to put venal traitors like this Bolton character on the stand, then let’s hear from Hunter Biden. If they can find him. The moonsuits will protect all of our patriotic senators from the corrupt vapors that form clouds wherever these Bidens go. Doocer says, They’ll find him and bring him back to town and force him to cough up the goods on the president’s earnest efforts to fight corruption, root it out at the roots. Plus the book is so bad, so poorly written. It reads like a second grade primer. Ainse says, nobody would pay any attention except for the Democrat circus. Doocer says, The Democrat clown show is all over it. Ainse says, The sad sack Democrat dog-and-pony show with the dancing dogs. Killer says, We’ll be back in a moment with special guest, wait for this, Toonces the Driving Cat. – Tuesday, January 28, 2020