CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, February 4, 2020)
IOWA CITY – The Times guy orders a shot and a beer and heads over to the Post guy already at a table. It is very, very late at the Yacht Club. The band is done. Several caucus goers are slumped in stupors at their tables. A pair of bouncers hauls an elderly woman in slacks and red Warren sweater out the door. The Post guy watches in silence. He says, You get anything? The Times guy says, Nothing definitive. No results. I had a caucus chair get hung up on by headquarters. The Post guy says, I got a lot of Pete’s people claiming big victory. The Times guy says, Yeah. The Post guy says, I got a lot of calls and texts from Donald’s people. They say, Democracy in Action – Ha ha ha. The Times guy says, Yeah, they say, Robby Mook, Hillary’s campaign manager, helped develop the app that Iowa Dems used to tabulate the results. The Post guy says, I’ve heard that Mayor Pete invested $21,000 in the company that made the app in July 2019. Now Mayor Pete declares victory before results are out. The Times guy says, Lee is reporting that the firm is called Shadow. They got paid by Nevada too. And Pete’s campaign. The Post guy says, Quite a collection of coincidences. The Times guy says, Donald’s people keep mentioning Soros too. Donald says that the Democrat Caucus is an unmitigated disaster. Nothing works, just like they ran the Country. Remember the 5 Billion Dollar Obamacare Website, that should have cost 2% of that. The only person that can claim a very big victory in Iowa last night is “Trump”. The Post guy says, He’s gonna have a field day with this. The Times guy is silent for a moment. An unconscious, elderly man wearing Bernie buttons is dragged from the room, his boots scraping the floor. An older woman falls off a bar stool and just lies on the floor, clutching some Warren tchotchkes. The Times guy looks at her. Why, he says, do you think he put Trump in quotes? – Tuesday, February 4, 2020