CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, February 26, 2019)
Donald looks out the window of the hotel and says to Mike, Do you think we can get Doocy and Kilmeade on the teevee? Mike says, Probably not. Donald says, We can stream. Mike says, Maybe. Donald says, You think Chairman Kim gets special kimchi? Or did he bring it with him on the train? Mike says, Dunno. Donald says, I saw where Chairman Kim is staying at the Melia Hanoi, which is nice, a nice little hotel. I want to make sure we do a segment from the Hilton. McCain made a fucking career out of the Hanoi Hilton. A lot of mileage. If I can’t stay in Trump, I want Hilton. For this thing to work, it’s got to be fair. That’s what I’m saying. If Kim gets the Melia Hanoi, we should get the Hanoi Hilton. We should also get our own teevee channel. They’ve got a teevee channel. We should have one too. Mike says, That’s all propaganda, sir. We are in Vietnam. Donald says, Great country. Great people. They know how to do things right here, which is why I think we should push for the Hilton. Mike says, Well, sir, the Hilton closed down some years ago. Donald turns on the teevee. It is running a video segment of Chairman Kim walking past a line of soldiers standing at attention. People wave flowers. Many weep. Donald says, Nice. Very nice. The announcer says, in dubbed English, North Korean Central TV showed various facial expressions of its people. The anchor said North Korean people will work out many more miracles and achievements keeping steps with Supreme leader who is on travel to the foreign country. Donald says, What does that mean? Mike says, It means that Kim is here and his people are hard at work back home. Donald says, The North Koreans can be an economic powerhouse with Kim at the top. He can be Xi’s pivot. We are going to make that happen. It will be beautiful. They will owe us big time. My Russian sources say now is the time. They say Kim is ready to deal. We are going to get this done. No question. We are going to come back with paper, signed sealed, and delivered. Then we are going to make the McCain-loving Dems eat it. Mike says, We should be cautious. Kim has nothing to lose. Donald says, We are going to deliver, Mikey. We are going to deliver big time. We are going to return home with peace on piece of paper. My people are going to love it. And the Dems are going to swallow the paper. We are going to have a massive rally on, like, the Fourth of July on the Mall. We’ll get Clint to film it. Voight, Scott will be all in. Sajak. Think of it! Peace in our time! They will celebrate Trump forever, Mikey, many more miracles and achievements. Many more. And a tremendous way to introduce the Trump Fourth.
— Tuesday, Feb. 26, 2019