CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, December 4, 2018)
Kellyanne sits in front of her vanity fixing her hair. George, silently watching Perry Mason reruns on mute, is sprawled on the divan next to her. Kellyanne says, George, honey, pass me my hair. George takes Kellyanne’s hair from the manikin and hands it to her. He says, You want your eyeballs too? Kellyanne says, Sure do. I’ve gotta read the transcript from Buenos Aires. George fishes her eyeballs from the glass on the night stand and passes them over. Kellyanne screws them in. She says, Honey, you really have to stay off Twitter. It just upsets the boss so much. George says, The boss needs to resign and face the music. Kellyanne says, Oh, honey, don’t be so grouchy. The boss wants only the best. George says, What does that mean? What’s best for him, that’s what it means. George turns reflective. He says, Oh, darling, let’s get out of here. We can make a new life somewhere, maybe South Jersey, some place where no one knows us, maybe outside Vineland. We can start over. Remember what it was like before? When we were young and the world lay before us? Kellyanne says, Can you hand me my nose? George takes Kellyanne’s nose from her small alabaster nose case. She snaps it in and takes a deep breath. Kellyanne says, What’s that smell? George says, The stench of corruption. Kellyanne says, Oh, there you go again. You know, the boss’ second son is on your case now. George says, Yes. The pathetic Eric said that of all the ugliness in politics, the utter disrespect George Conway shows toward his wife, her career, place of work, and everything she has fought SO hard to achieve, might top them all. @KellyannePolls is great person and frankly his actions are horrible. Kellyanne says, It’s so embarrassing. George says, It’s more embarrassing to pay a porn star for sex right after your wife has a baby. Kellyanne says, Well that’s not what happened. You know that. He didn’t pay, the Jew lawyer went rogue and paid, and the boss, out of loyalty, tried to save him. Now Cohen has turned on him. George snorts. Kellyanne says, Plus, the boss plans to attend the Bush funeral, if they get rid of the dog. George says, The dog? Kellyanne says, Oh yeah. Old Pappy had a service dog the last little while and now the dog – what was it’s name? Sultan or something, no, Sully – won’t leave the casket. He snarls at the boss, at least that’s what Stephen says. Imagine calling him Sully after everything the boss did for the crown prince. It’s a deliberate insult. And, you know, the boss hates dogs. George says, He’s afraid of them, afraid they can smell the stench of corruption. Kellyanne says, Oh honey, there you go again. Pass me my chin.
— Tuesday, Dec. 4, 2018