CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, December 31, 2019)
NEW YORK – Hey, King, says Matt, looking around at the restaurant, this place sucks. Bevin, says Steve, what do you know? Bevin says, We coulda gone to the place with the pool. This place here, it’s got the skulls of the blacks on the walls. Steve and Matt are having an end-of-2019 celebratory lunch at the Jekyll and Hyde restaurant in the West Village. The restaurant sports a grisly decorative theme. Skulls on the walls. Dreadmina the Vampire performs every 20 minutes. Matt says she’s “bitchin.” Steve says, Fuck you, fuck head. They got shit for appetizers here. Really good shit. This place’s got class. Where the fuck is Duncan? He’s late. Bevin says, Hunter’s always late. Make sure your wallet’s locked in a safe or something when he gets here. Fucker would steal his mama’s pee proof undies and resell em. Fuck you says, Duncan, sitting down, you were always an asshole. This place sucks. Stringer walks in and looks around. He says, Who picked this place? Piece of shit. King says, They got that on the menu. Bevin says, King picked it. Stringer says, Not enough whites around. Plus you gotta fight through all the pansies lying on the sidewalk to get in. King says, Fuck you, David. Bevin says, No, Fuck you, Steve. Hey, says Stringer, where the fuck is Omar? You said, Omar would be here. Fucking liars. King says, Omar got arrested again, the girl friend blew her head off with the coke. Hunter says, How can you have too much coke, you know what I mean? King says, Fuck you, Duncan. Duncan says, No fuck you. The bitch was sleeping around with a crowd of proud boys, which Pelosi is gonna exploit, I guarantee. King says, Maybe she ought to stalk Pelosi with a little more fucking imagination. Is DeAnna coming? She’s got the good knockers. Bevan says, She couldn’t make it, so we got Danielle. Oh great, says, King. She was gonna hang the Muslim bitch. Last I saw, the bitch’s is still walking around. Hey, they got pulled pork in this slophouse? I could use some fancy pork, and lots of it. King’s cell goes off, a special ringtone of AI Kate Smith. King looks down. It’s Danielle, he says, reading the text. She says we need to get out of here now. The boys are about to hit the sex ring in the basement. King says, They got a sex ring here too? Duncan says, They’re everywhere. Just like the blacks. King says, And the gays. Someone adds, Don’t forget the ragheads. Don’t forget them. King says, Never. – Tuesday, December 31, 2019