CSI: American Carnage (Tuesday, April 7, 2020)
WASHINGTON – Donald is on the cell in the Executive Lounge. He says, Keep pushing Rudy. We’ll have them begging for it from their water bowls. They’ll wanna give it to their kids and granny, anybody whose mouth they can pry open. Rudy says, It’s a cure, pure and simple. A lot of our people say so and they put their money on the table where their mouth is. It’s a winner. So is the placenta cell killer. You just shoot it into the stem cells somewhere in your butt, I think, and bye-bye corona. Donald says, Sounds tremendous. Sounds great. Plus, you know, and this is important, Wilbur gives it a big thumbs up. Perdue too. He loves it. Can’t get enough of it. Eats it like popcorn, because, you know, the other thing about hydroxychloroquine is that it, for a lot of guys, they tell me it helps them get it up, you know. They say this is a problem with guys over 60. They’re at risk. I wouldn’t know, because, you know, Rudy, I never had that particular problem. But they say it’s great for that, and women, it takes the pounds off and pushes out the tits. They don’t do tits like they used to. But with this stuff, they tell me tits are back. Donald sighs. Rudy says, Maybe you could get Sanofi to advertise on the show. Donald says, Don’t think I haven’t thought of that. That toad Fallucci doesn’t want ads. He doesn’t want the theme. He doesn’t like the opener, with the warmup. He doesn’t like the special guests. You see Miller on Thursday? I got him on. Loves me, loves me, no question about it. Now we even got Trump War Room to start producing shows that bracket our show. We give them a huge boost because our ratings are so great, they are the best ever recorded. I didn’t even know that, but it’s true, they say. We got a lock on four hours of prime time across the cable. Nobody’s ever done that before. Only I have done it. Rudy says, We got some other cures here too. Jim and Tammy have developed a great cure, Liquid Silver™. They’re selling it on their show, cures just about anything. Donald says, Does it cure the corona? Rudy says, No question about that. Donald says, We oughta have them on the show, too. You know, a second point of view. Why not? What has anybody got to lose? Rudy says, That’s the point. Donald says, Look, we got all these people running scared, that’s what this is about. They are so afraid of us. I go on the internet and go boo and Chuck just collapses. Rudy says, They say Biden may get the corona. Donald says, Who would notice? Nobody’s gonna go to bat for a guy who’s got no brain left and by the time Johnny Boy finishes with them, they aren’t gonna have any voters left to go to the polls. Johnny Boy showed how it’s done in Wisconsin and we can take that to the bank and to November. That’s when the so-called election is, theoretically. – Tuesday, April 7, 2020