CSI: American Carnage (Tueday, May 21, 2019)
MONTOURSVILLE PA – Donald looks out over the rallying crowd. It is hot. Hundreds of fans dance enthusiastically before him at the airport. Several have snakes and speak unintelligibly. The snakes appear bored. They hang in the hands of the dancing rally-goers, occasionally hissing. Several fans faint. Donald looks down at them and frowns. He says, Thank you very much. Hello, Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Well, I’m thrilled to be back in this state that gave us American independence, you know that, American steel, which we now have coming back, by the way, like never before, and generations of American patriots. Thank you very much. Thank you. Thank you. Many in the crowd hold up their snakes and begin strange chants. Donald points at one woman, dressed in leather, who falls to the tarmac. Medical personnel push their way to her while several other large men, rush the stage, seeking to touch Donald. Security holds them back. The unintelligible chants resolve into USA! USA! USA! Donald says, Thank you very much. The crowd cheers. Four more years! Four more years! Donald squints. He says, You know, I thought that was the sun in my eyes, It’s these stupid lights. These people, I mean, what are we? What are they doing any way? They can turn those lights down. Folks, crazy, you’ve got a thing called the sun. We like the sun better than the artificial nonsense. We love the sun. Light. We gave it light. There was darkness and there was light. We gave it light. But not too much light. The crowd cheers. The snakes hiss. Build the wall! Build the wall! Donald points. He paces. He says, The Democrat candidate wants to open your borders and we’re fighting like hell with the worst laws to get those borders closed! More cheers. A man rushes the stage. Donald says, Can you get him up here? Get him up here, come on! Look at this guy now. We know who he’s voting for. Security pulls the man off the stage. They gather up the snakes that are now slithering freely as the sun begins to set. Donald lauds San Diego. The Wall. Beautiful People. The crowd becomes more raucous. More snakes are released. One woman is crushed by a boa. Donald points as several ambulances make their way through the increasingly rowdy and unpredictable crowd. He begins to lavish praise. He says, You stared down a corrupt system that enriched itself at your expense, and you look at what we just went through with this phony deal, this phony witch hunt that we all went through together. The boos rise up into the air like sour mist above a retention pond. Donald says, It’s a disgrace. Now they’re all blaming each other. You see they’re all turning on each other. Isn’t that pretty to watch? It’s his fault! No, it’s his fault! Now we caught him. They were spying. They were spying on our campaign. I’ll tell you what. If that ever happened to the other side, this thing would have been over two years ago, and you know it would have been treason. They would have called it treason and that’s what it is. It was treason and it should never be allowed to happen to another President again, ever, ever, ever. You reclaim your destiny. You defended your dignity and you took back your country. The crowd, restive, begins to chant, Lock them up! Lock them up! Donald steps away from the podium. He scans the crowd — Lock them up! Lock them up! – and begins to clap as the chant swells louder and louder. – May 21, 2019