CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, November 7, 2019)
SENECA, SC – Lindsey stands with the Ghost of John McCain in the Seneca town square as baby after baby is placed on the butcher block by a hooded Democrat. Heads are lopped off and cascade into baskets below, like chicken parts, to be carted away to the Seneca Bioneuro Testing Center, which employs 15 Senecans. Lindsey says, This is what I’m telling you John. This is what they’ve been doing all these years. It is awful and disgusting and the president is going to put a stop to it. He promised and assured me. Lindsey, my beautiful Lindsey, you are looking at a magic show. There is nothing there. No babies are being butchered. There is no Bioneuro testing center. Lindsey stands with his eyes closed. He says, John, I can’t bear it any more. Why are you torturing me this way? Teeth fall from the mouth of the ghost and scatter on the sidewalk. The ghost says, Lindsey, what has happened to you? Here you are deep in your own past. You are helping your sister, you are respected by your colleagues. Your wit and intelligence are admired. What has happened? Lindsey says, The lights here in the past are so bright, John. I can’t bear watching the babies murdered. Let’s go. Let’s go. This is a past that only the president can fix, John, the president, and I intend to fix it. We can’t continue the way we were. The fact of the matter, John, is that we are screwed. Enough already. What we need is me. There I am. Lindsey points. The Ghost looks at Lindsey standing on a pool table in Central. Lindsey says, I am running for president because I think the world is falling apart! Everything I know about how you people fuck things up like Trump and lie, I learned in a pool room! You want to know about pool rooms? You want to know about pool room proclamations? Look at that asshole Trump! He came down an escalator and its been down ever since! There are shouts around Lindsey. Hurrah! Yeah, Lindsey! Pool cues are raised above heads. Beer bottles fly and crash into the walls. Lindsey stands and watches the brawl with the Ghost. He says, I knew the crowds, didn’t I John? I knew how to read them all. Lindsey sighs and watches as he shouts to a group of reporters mingling with the crowd: Embracing Donald Trump is embracing demographic death! A group of supporters stand near by. Cheers rise up, like gas, just as night begins to fall and the cold deepens. Lindsey turns to the Ghost. He grabs him by the shoulder, pulling off a chunk of collar bone. Lindsey says, I could have been president, John. President! That’s what I could have been! – Thursday, November 7, 2019.