CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, May 7, 2020)
NEW YORK — Mr. President, says Killer, we want to thank you for calling in. It’s always great to hear from our friends. Donald says, Not at all, Brian. I need to get the real facts out, you know, because this great country, and we are great, with our Beloved Seniors and Patriot Farmers and other Warriors, they need to hear the facts. Killer says, Well thank you, sir. Doocer says, Hi Mr. President, it’s Steve here. Can you tell us about the tests? I know you’re flooding the country with tests, and…. Donald says, Everyone can get the tests they need. Doocer says, And there’s no problem if granny wants a test? Donald says, They should have no problem. And as good as this is, we’re even getting better. We came up — don’t forget, the cupboard was bare. The other administration — the last administration, left us nothing. We didn’t have ventilators, we didn’t have medical equipment, we didn’t have testing. The tests were broken. You saw that. We had broken tests. They left us nothing. And we’ve taken it and we have built an incredible stockpile — a stockpile like we’ve never had before. And that stockpile is moving out, it’s spreading everywhere, it’s growing like they were growing oranges in Florida, and it’s showing what a great job we’re doing, what a tremendous success, and it’s showing, this is very interesting – you know the other side and the Fake News™ are claiming lots of lies because that’s what they do, lots of lies, but we are discovering, daily, daily, Steve, that these are lies aimed at killing, they are so happy that the American people, our Warriors, are, and I don’t think this should be celebrated, are in harm’s way. Killer says, In harm’s way? Donald says, Well, not in harm’s way as much as they’d like to make you believe because of the great job we’re doing. A tremendous job. We have saved so many lives, and many more lives than we get credit for, but that’s okay, the truth is that we are putting together the numbers, we are studying it all, and it’s a terrible thing for any number, but if there are more numbers, that’s worse, and our numbers do not come anywhere near the numbers of the Fake News™ who just make them up, and we are taking a look at the CDC, which, if you look, has half the numbers that the other places list. Half the numbers, Brian! How do they get more than twice the actual totals? For one thing, and if you go back and check, this is because they are throwing in all the pneumonia and flu with this Invisible Enemy. They may be throwing other numbers in with the actual numbers, too. We are studying it and we are going to issue a report in a couple of days, I’m told. There are people involved, remember. I’m not going to get into names, but they’ve been trying to cause trouble since we go here, even though we’ve got a lot of things going on. They also say that there are groups trying to disrupt the food and are trying their scare tactics at meat plants. The attorney general is taking a look at that. And some other things and you’re going to hear about that. But we are reporting very accurately and we’ll see what happens. Doocer says, Thanks Mr. President, thank you. Donald says, You’re welcome. – Thursday, May 7, 2020