CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, May 16, 2019)
VAST CENTRAL PLAINS – Deep beneath the fields with their spindly, soggy shoots of new soy, their great pools of flood waters, their decaying barns, and their bustling opioid markets, the Dark Ones sit, chatting softly within the Antechamber of Analysis, an ancillary operations center at the far western point of the vast Central Plains complex. Screens buzz softly on all the walls displaying charts and graphs, numbers reaching unfathomable extremes, live street feeds from Washington, Moscow, Beijing, Caracas, Havana, Brussels, Tehran, El Paso, Montgomery, Atlanta, and a number of other cities and locations. The elder brother glances at the screens, which show many empty streets and conference rooms, and says, The emissary from the Gambler Showman did not play well before the European vassals. They complain that he showed no evidence whatsoever that the Persians are engaged in any activity outside of what we already know about. The younger brother says, Yes. The Persians are very practical, although they do have their romantic side. The elder pauses and says, My brother, the Persians have a strong sense of time and what lies beyond time. They understand the personal nature of responsibility. Oh, that was the problem with the cloddish and brutish Shah, who listened only to the puppets in Washington and forgot the words of the great poet: Beyond the earth, beyond the farthest skies, I try to find Heaven and Hell. Then I hear a solemn voice that says: Heaven and hell are inside. The younger says, So true my brother. Father was not happy with the Roosevelt who installed the Shah so clumsily. Oh, he was happy with the continued flow of our oil, which the venal Shah facilitated. But Father understood that the coup would invite ultimate retaliation and, in the long run, inflict great pain on our overall margins. Think of the revenue stream that we have lost since 1979 and the unmanning of the Shah! It makes me heartsick. The brothers are silent again until the younger says, The Gambler Showman’s emissary has been reading his history, or perhaps it is this nihilistic and stupid Bolton character, in any event, they are trying to reproduce the glories of the Gulf of Tonkin where their leader, Johnson, used an imaginary gun-boat skirmish to gin up the slaughter of 57,000 troops. Oh the revenue disruptions that came in the wake of that fiasco! Another short-term bump now languishes, despite all of our efforts. I am worried, my brother, I shall admit it. The Gambler Showman, so befuddled, is now planning to work his blundering dark arts on virtually all of our well-thought-out plans. We will lose the Iranian streams, the Chinese will eschew our joint ventures, the Venezuela flows will dry up. And now he has awakened the women once again. Surely the Hoosier Puppet needs to be called to task. Surely he can put a brake on this madness. The elder brother is thoughtful. Finally he says, I don’t believe that the Hoosier Puppet is the optimal option for placating the women. – Thursday, May 16, 2019