CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, March 19, 2020)
FORT LAUDERDALE – The Times guy adjusts his sunglasses. He says to the Post guy, Will you look at this beach. We’re talking spring break here. The Post guy adjusts his pith helmet. He says, Yeah, herds of em. Look at those girls over there! The Times guy looks. He says, Whoa! I haven’t seen that since I was in college! Don’t they know that we’re in a world health crisis? The Post guy says, Let’s find out what they think about the bar closures. He asks a blond woman with red eyes. She says, It’s really messing up with my spring break. What is there to do here other than go to the bars or the beach and they’re closing all of it and it’s really messing, I think they’re blowing it up all out of proportion. I think it’s doing way too much. Her friend falls over, but gets right back up. She says, Yeah, I mean we planned this a long time ago and it was kind of up in the air if we’d still go. But we’re here. I just turned 21 this year, so I’m here to party. So it’s kind of disappointing, but we’re making the most of it. We met these other people in our little Airbnb spot, so were just hanging out with them and trying to get drunk before everything closes! Whoo hoo! She wanders off and calls out Barry! Barry! Whoo hoo! The Times guy says, I’ll talk to Barry. He walks over to Barry who has a bright red face and a turned-around cap that says Louie’s on the front, with a foaming stein patch. Barry says, Yo. If I get corona, I get corona. At the end of the day, I’m not going to let it stop me from partying. You know, I’ve been waiting, we’ve been waiting for Miami spring break for a while, about two months, we’ve had this trip planned, two, three months, and we’re just out here having a good time. Whatever happens, happens. Yeah! Barry’s friend Bryson staggers across the sand. He looks at the Times guy. He says, Tell em Bar! Barry says, What do think, Bry? Bry says, About what? Barry turns to the Times guy and says, tell him what we’re talking about a minute ago. The Times guy says, COVID-19. Bry says, Oh, that. We’re just trying to roll with it. We’re just living for the moment. We’re just going to do what happens when it happens. When stuff closes, were going to do it when it closes but besides that we’re trying to have the best trip we can. He falls on the sand and looks up at the sun. See, says Bry, sheltering in place. – Thursday, March 19, 2020