CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, June 6, 2019)
SHANNON – John-Boy, get me another twix and a coke, we gotta plane to catch and this O’Vee guy is late. Donald is slumped on the Vibr-O-Matic lounger at Shannon waiting for the Irish PM, who finally shows up, with an aide and a little girl. He shakes Donald’s hand. Donald eyes the little girl and the aide and then sits with the PM in front of a white curtain hastily drawn to obscure the airport vending machines. There are several reporters and photographers in the VIP lounge recording the occasion. Donald gives a big smile and says that Ireland and the United States of America do a lot of tourism together. And maybe most importantly, he turns to the PM what’s his name, you are certainly one of the leading countries in terms of people moving and living in the United States. When they were starving, many don’t know this, but the Irish were starvers, and they looked around and said the United States is the greatest country in the world and that’s where we want to be, in the best, if we’re gonna starve, we are going to starve in the best place with the biggest buildings and the most corn, and so now we have millions of Irish. And I think I know most of them because they’re my friends. We love the Irish. Great people, love the potato, maybe drink too much, which is okay, and eat a lot of potatoes, and love the priests and the nuns, which we do too. So, it’s an honor to be here. We’ll be discussing various things. Probably, Donald says to the assembled press, you’ll ask me about the Brexit because I just left some very good people that are very much involved with the Brexit, as you know. And I think that’ll all work out. It will all work out very well. And also, for you, with your wall, your border. I mean, we have a border situation in the United States too, we got the dark snaps on the outside banging to get in, and you have one over here. But I hear it’s going to work out very well. I think it’s both going to work out well. It’s going to work out very well here. And, again, both the military and the trade is such a big factor, and we’re going to be discussing that very much. And the nucular, It’s all on the table, which we love. So, it’s an honor to be in Ireland with my friend the president, and he’s doing a great job as your president. Prime Minister Varadkar says, The main thing we want to avoid, of course, is a border or a wall between both sides. Donald looks at the little girl and says, No, I think you do. I think you do. The way it works now is good. You want to try and keep it that way. And I know that’s a big point of contention with respect to the Brexit, is your border. And I’m sure it’s going to work out well. I know they’re focused very heavily on it. Don’t worry. I think it should be good. I mean, the big thing is going to be your border, and hopefully that’s going to work out. I think it will work out. There are a lot of good minds thinking about how to do it, and it’s going to be — it’s going to be just fine. I think, ultimately, it could even be very, very good for Ireland. But the border will work out. It always does because, and this is the point, there are countries and they all have borders. — Thursday, June 6, 2019