CSI: American Carnage (Thursday, July 9, 2020)
NEW YORK — Doocer says, You know Brian, we’re going to get some kind of ruling from the Supreme Court today on whether Congress can steal the president’s tax returns and use them in the coup effort. But the real story is in the classroom. Killer says, That’s right, Steve. Millions of teachers are defying the president’s direct order. In no uncertain terms he told them SCHOOLS MUST OPEN IN THE FALL!!! Yet these slacker socialists are refusing to follow the president’s directives. Are they really American? Steve says, Interesting question, Brian. That kind of anarchist trouble making, according to Dr. Fauci, is in the blood, Brian. By the way, you know the president refers to him privately as Dr. Fau Chi, Czar of All the China Viruses. Did I show you the text? But you know, there may be a silver lining here. Briah says, Oh? What’s that? Steve says, We are now able to identify the communists and left-wing radicals in the classroom. The president plays a shrewd game of 6D chess, which is three times your 2D chess. But with the left-wingers, we will be able to isolate them and remove what the president has so rightly called an infestation. They return to the classroom and the police or ICE nets them. Its much easier when they’re all concentrated in one place. Of course many of the students are anchor students, sent here to take up desks in the schools and keep out the real students. Ainse says, I don’t think the president is urging the schools to open up for the illegals, Steve. Killer says, It’s part of that deadly chess game, Ainsely. He’s banking on the corona taking out the anchor illegals along with the communistic socialists who are indoctrinating them. The rest can be netted up. Once they’re gone, the curve will flatten and real kids can emerge and return to the classroom. Like Secretary DeVos said — it’s clear our nation’s schools must fully reopen and fully operate this school year. Anything short of that robs students, not to mention taxpayers, of their futures — and their futures represent our nation’s future. So it’s not a question of “if”; it’s just a question of “how.” Under the president’s strong leadership, our economy is roaring back; our schools must do the same. Ainse says, Brian, I think the president is demanding nothing less than full half measures. Nothing comes without a little risk or more. Secretary DeVos also said, and I saw it, she said students can’t afford to fall further behind. Even before the virus, too many were trapped in schools that don’t meet their needs. They need to return to those schools and so we must reopen schools. The world of the virus does not demand excuse making or fear mongering. We’ve done whatever it takes before. Now we are looking to the future from the perspective of the past on the flat trough of the present. As the president has often said, we’ve dug out the Panama Canal; we’ve won World Wars; we’ve reduced the Berlin Wall to rubble; and, thanks to the president we’ve defeated ISIS. Now it is time to roll up our sleeves. – July 9, 2020