CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, Oct., 14, 2018)
Washington. Donald is in the Executive Lounge watching his tivoed Richmond KY rally. A bowl of taco chips has been knocked to the floor, Hector stepped in the debris while refilling Donald’s drink, but so what? Donald grabs a handful of the largest corn shards, scoops some quac left over from the morning, and skips to an exciting part of the rally. On the teevee he tells the throng that Democrats want to open America’s borders and turn our country into a friendly sanctuary for murderous thugs from other countries who will kill us all. Donald grabs some more chips. The crowd is delirious, chanting, stomping, Build the Wall! Build the Wall! Lock Them Up! Lock Them Up. Donald tells them, They will open our borders to a bunch of ruthless gangs. The Democrats have become the party of crime. The Republicans are the party of safety. Donald’s cell phone rings. Dammit! He says and pauses the teevee. He answers. Yeah. He listens. Donald says, I don’t give a shit what the Turks say. He said they didn’t have anything to do with it, okay? Why would he lie? Tell him to go on the camera and say he didn’t have anything to do with it. He tells me they’re clean, okay, and I believe him, very strong on the truth, he looked right at me, at least that’s the way it seemed on the phone, because you can tell, okay? He said they had nothing to do with it, so they can say that on the teevee to Fox or anybody, but particularly Fox. Alright. I’m busy okay, if you can’t handle this, get somebody who can, one of the bitches in comms, or Tami or one of them. Donald hangs up. The phone buzzes again, before he can get to the part about Cocaine Mitch, which Donald really likes because it was his idea in the first place, the phone continues to buzz as Donald thinks of Cocaine Mitch in the middle of a pasture covered with snow, and some blonds coming to his rescue on horses, the ground pristine, the blonds gorgeous, and they scoop Mitch up and ride away. The phone buzzes. Donald snaps out of his reverie. He answers. Yeah. In Portland? Of course in Portland, that’s where we have a key operation. That’s where the blacks are. Yeah. Okay, so there was a fight. Okay? Downtown. Yeah. Okay. Look, that’s what we’re paying these morons for. They go in and attack the black anarchist Democrats, the black Aunty, the Aunty Fa — they’re Chinese, that figures, you know — and the fight gets on the teevee, and people understand what we’re saying, that these people are a mob, they’re thugs, they want to kill, and they’re paid by Soros. It’s not that complicated, okay. Pay em and tell em to wait for more instructions. There’s gonna be plenty of chances to serve their country and to share their blood with the dirt, okay. I’ve gotta get back to the ambassador now. Donald hangs up, brushes up some more chips from the floor, finds a coke, and settles in to finish watching the Kentucky rally where he is on a palomino rising up on its hind legs; it whinnies to the sky and Donald reaches down and scoops up the lithe blond waiting by the copse just outside the pasture fence.
—Sunday Oct., 14, 2018