CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, November 3, 2019)
NEW YORK – Excuse me, Mr. Manafort, the guard says. President Zelensky is on Line One. Paul, feet up on the side table behind his desk as he talks on the phone, wheels around and says, Tell him to wait. The guard says, Yes sir. He departs. Paul says, And make sure Bannon can’t get to him. He doesn’t know anything, okay. Nothing. The guard appears again. Excuse me, Mr. Manafort. Mr. Trump is on Line Two. Paul says, Dammit! Okay, put him through. He says into the phone, I’ll get back to you. Paul gets up and begins pacing. He says, Donald! Great to hear from you, but you shouldn’t call me here. The walls have ears. Ha ha ha. Donald says, Paulie, Paulie. Where the hell is the Whistleblower? He’s disappeared! Paul says, Have you checked in with Laurie? That’s where you should go. By the way, has the package been delivered? Tony’s the guy. I need the package. Donald says, I’m a businessman. I do serious business. Paul says, Yeah, I know that. Donald says, I don’t do the cash-flow nonsense. This is an honorable operation. Paul says, Check with Laurie. The guard appears again. President Zelensky is waiting on Line One. Paul says, I gotta go. I’ll get back to you. A second guard appears. Your coffee, Mr. Manafort. And the barber is here. What should I tell him? Paul says, Tell him to wait. The first guard says, President Zelensky, sir. Paul says, Tell him to hold, I’ll be there in a second. Get me Lev on Line Three. The guard says, Yes sir. Paul wheels around again, punches a button. He says, Hey Lev. Are are you doing? Lev spills forth with a rush of words. Paul says, Hey, hey, hey. Slow down. It’s gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be fine. Just sit tight. And tell Igor to sit tight. Lev says, I got bills. Paul chuckles, Har har. Yes. Yes. I do too. But I’m sitting tight because, do you know why? Lev says, Because you got nothing to worry about, that’s why. You got the president of the United States of America in your corner. I got nothing but bills and 15 years in the federal slam to look forward to. Paul says, Hey guy. Where’s my strong guy? Where’s my bully guy? You are gonna be fine. You know, I was talking to Oleg earlier this morning. You know what he said? Lev says, What? Paul says, Out of the blue, he says, How’s Lev doing? I said, About as well as can be expected when your trying to make ends meet from inside the American Gulag. He says, He should just sit tight. There are many ways to make ends meet and the ends justify the means. Lev says, He said that? Paul says, He did. He told me there would be several packages delivered to celebrate the birthday and that the party would begin once the last package arrives. Lev says, No kidding? Paul says, No, no. No kidding. He also said that Dmitro sends his regards and that he plans to attend the celebration in Kiev. He plans to bring some cake. Lev says, Really? Paul says, Of course. Listen, I’ve got to run, the guards here want me to do something. Okay. Lev says, Yes. Yes. Certainly. He hangs up just as the second guard returns. He says, Mr. Manafort, the barber is still waiting. The first guard sticks his head in and says, Mr. Manafort, President Zelensky is still waiting on Line One. And a Mr. Bannon is on Line Two. Paul says, Tell Bannon I don’t know him. No. Tell him that I’m shaving and he should wait. Get the barber in here. I’m a mess. – Sunday, November 3, 2019