CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, November 11, 2018)
Fort Lauderdale. Marco takes a moment to tell his people that they must act. Marco sips some water and says, The president is counting on you. Roger is counting on you. The nation is counting on you. You must give this your very best effort. In the midst of the crowd, George waves his flag emblazoned with an image of Donald pointing a finger. George shouts out, We know what we’re doing! We’re not sponsored by George Soros, that’s for sure! Marco says, Okay. Good. We have a message just in from the president. Marco reads: Trying to STEAL two big elections in Florida! We are watching closely! Marco nods. He drinks a glass of water. He says, Ok, line up. His people line up. They are dressed in grey Brooks Brothers suits with rep ties. The women are in pale blue shirtwaists. Marco nods. He says, I want you out on the streets. I want you at the Election Center. Jimmy, report what you saw. Jimmy says, Sure Mr. R. Marco says, Don’t call me that. I am senator. Jimmy says, Ok, ok. Mr. Senator. When I drove up to the Broward County Election Center, I saw all these rental trucks parked bumper to bumper and circling the front door. You know like a wagon train or a caravan. Marco says, Not like a caravan. Jimmy says, Whatever. I didn’t know what was going on. I saw people demonstrating. I assumed it must be Democrats. When I walked through and got in front, I noticed that everybody had Trump signs, Trump buttons, Scott signs, Trump hats—it turned out it was a Republican bunch of protesters. Our people! I cried! I cried! And I began taking pictures and videos. The signs said things like Don’t STEAL our election, FAKE VOTES don’t count, Supervisor of Corruption, Sneaky Snipes, and there were, of course, Hillary Clinton types of chants like Lock her up! Marco says, Excellent. Excellent. Roger has done well. He’s done this before. Roger is an organizer’s organizer. Now you know what we’re trying to do here. We will stop this theft once and for all! The red phone on the table next to Marco rings loudly. He drinks a glass of water. He answers the phone. Marco says, Yes sir! Yes sir! I thought you were at the ceremony at the Aisne-Marne American Cemetery. Wet? Yes sir. Ok. Yes. We have the orders from Roger. Yes sir. Yes. I understand the urgent need to strategize. Yes sir. Your strategies are the best strategies. Yes, it’s hot here. No. No sir, not as hot as California. Yes, I am deploying our people as you and Roger have ordered. Our people are all in. They say Florida makes us look like a banana republic. No. Banana. No. No. Yes. They say this has happened over and over again in Broward. Yes sir. No. Broward. It’s a county. In Florida. That’s right. No. Many people don’t know that. No. But you know what? I love Rick Scott. He should have fired her in 2012. Rick’s got law enforcement. Should I tell the cops to just bust them all? They are all radical leftists. Yes sir. Our people. Qanon specialists that Mr. Mercer has sent over — by the way, sir, they can brief you on the Cali fires; I’ll round them up — plus we have a large contingent of the angry homeless people, and of course our elite corps. I’m just giving them their orders. Yes, the Proud Boys just arrived. Very proud. And Roger’s bodyguards. No, no wrestlers yet. Yes, sir. I’ll call Linda. Yes sir. We will keep the red phone open for your instructions.
— Sunday, Nov. 11, 2018