CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, May 5, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Mikey, Mikey, listen to me, okay, I want you to go down there and talk to The Lip, and you tell him that the Russians have nothing to do with Venezuela, okay, nothing, that it’s all a big misunderstanding, okay, nothing, nothing at all. Mikey says, But boss, we got the fucking pictures. Oleg and the boys throwing their peckers around Caracas. Donald says, It’s a misunderstanding. Do you not understand misunderstanding? Mikey says, I understand it, I understand misunderstanding, boss, I’m saying that the misunderstaning that I’m understanding is no misunderstanding, I don’t think, you know, it’s more a mismisunderstanding, or a demisapprehension, you know what I mean, cause the pictures and the tapes, so for me to call all of that a misunderstanding would be misaccurate. Donald wipes some dried guac from a bowl tipped over on the executive lounge floor. He sucks his finger and wipes it on his underwear. Look, he says, listen to me Mikey. I want you, first, you gotta go down and burn those fucking pix and whatever dox you got, okay, because nobody needs em. Nobody wants em. Nobody cares about em. Okay. Then I want you to pick up the new boxes that we’re gonna swap in, the ones with the Biden kid. These babies just came in from a great source in Kiev, okay, a great source near Kiev, and they are the real deal, Mikey, the real deal. Not some bootstrap dossier from some drunk former MI8 guy. This isn’t some Fake News™, Mikey. It’s not some Russia Hoax with a lot of fraud. This isn’t some bullshit the radical commies and their angry Demonic fiends are pushing. We got the goods on this old confused mother fucker who is pals with everybody. Pals. Loves fucking Dick Cheney. Can you believe that? You know, his collusion with Ukraine and the corruption, the obstruction, and all that shit, what’s gonna really piss off these assholes is that he thinks Cheney’s a nice guy. He’s a pal. But were gonna confuse em first with the Ukraine and the corruption and after the nomination, we’re gonna bring out the Cheney shit. The sneer. The whole bit. Stevie’s working up the package, okay. People look at that they’re gonna come running into our arms, Mikey, right into our arms. And it all starts with you getting rid of those boxes of pictures and dox, like a good boy. Ha ha. And tell The Lip to keep his mouth shut. – Sunday, May 5, 2019