CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, February 23, 2020)
LAS VEGAS – They are stupid, James says to Chris as they stand in the rain in Las Vegas. Just plain stupid. Rain pours down, drenching them. Chris says, We are talking beyond McGovern here. This is so dumb. He wipes the rain from his face and wrings out his pocket square. What is the matter with these people? Have they lost their minds? James shakes the rain from his blue LSU cap with its Nike swoosh. He says, The happiest person right now, it’s about 1:15 Moscow time, is Vladimir Putin. I promise you. He’s probably staying up watching us right now. How you doing, Vlad. James waves. Water runs down his arm. Chris says, You know, Bobby used to say, back when I knew him, and we’d have dinner at Hickory Hill and the dogs, so many dogs, and Ethel would serve the drinks, good times, great times, lots of drinks, he’d say, McGovern is a disaster. Nominate McGovern and you’re handing it all to Nixon, and Nixon is a sonuvabitch and will screw us all. And look what happened. Water is rising in the street, washing over their shoes. James kicks his shoes off. He hops trying to get the socks. The intense river of water knocks him off balance. The rain pelts down. James says, This is something people need to know about, need to be aware of, it didn’t start right now. Chris says, One thing you could say, and there are a lot of things you could say, Bobby knew this country, knew Mississippi, knew Kansas, knew Oregon, knew the mountains, the grain, well, you know all about this, James. James says, Which is more stupid? The DNC? One of the truly stupid parties in the world, which of course Bernie Sanders loves. Chris says, Bobby didn’t love stupid. Teddy? Well this is not the time or place, he was loveable, once you got to love him. The rain beats down, Chris’ hair is matted and water drips down his face. He says, I’m reading last night about the fall of France in the summer of 1940, and the general calls up Churchill and says, It’s over, and Churchill says, How can it be? You got the greatest army in Europe. How can it be over? He said, It’s over. James, hopping on one foot grabbing his sock, falls into the water rushing down the street, sweeping all before it. Chris grabs a stick from a planter and holds it out to James, pulling him back to the sidewalk. James says, The entire theory that by expanding the electorate, increasing turnouts, you can win elections, is the equivalent of climate denying. When people say that, they are as stupid to a political scientist as a climate denier is to an atmospheric scientist. Stupid. You can bank it and book it with a crab in the soup. Chris says, I don’t know about that. But I do know, like Jack knew, and Tip, Tip knew it to his core, and I learned from Tip, Tip knew that you can expand and expand, but when you run out of people, that’s the end of it. People, who live in places, Philly, Bucks County, Allentown, where they got the Rembrandt, Spring Mill, Village Shires, real places with real people in them. Chris slips and goes down with a tremendous splash. James pulls him up. James says, You vote for Bernie because you think he’ll win the election, because he’ll galvanize heretofore sleepy parts of an electorate, then politically, you’re a fool. And that’s just a fact. It’s no denying it. James slips and crashes into the river of water. Chris says, Suicide? James shouts, as he’s swept down the street, It is. Chris looks around. Water is everywhere. He slips, falls, and sails down the street. James shouts, Stupid! as they are swept around the corner and out of sight. – Sunday, February 23, 2020