CSI: American Carnage (Sunday, April 12, 2020)
WASHINGTON – Donald tightens his wrapper and lays back with his half-empty can of Sobe Adrenaline Rush. There is a knock on the door of the Executive Lounge. Donald, annoyed, says, Come. The door opens and Mike wiggles in on his belly, making his way past the teevee and up to Donald’s slippered foot dangling off the recliner. Mike looks up. Oh Sire, Sire! Your gut is so on top of things! It is so magnificent! You knew in the deepest part of your belly that there would not be the 3 million deaths foreseen by the others. Donald peers down at Mike. He says, When everybody is calling for action, then its time to stop being the rotating chicken, which is what they all are. Mike looks puzzled for a moment and then brightens. He says, Oh, most beloved highness, your gifts and capabilities know no bounds. You are our sun, as Mother and our pastor, quarantined at the spa in Las Vegas, tell me during our daily sessions. But it is time for your toe cleansing. This is such a holy weekend. Donald says, Yes, Mike, yes it is and now, leave. Jeanine is about to call. Mike turns and wiggles toward the door just as Donald’s cell rings. It is Jeanine. Donald smiles. Her voice grates through the air. Jenine says, As you turn to reflection and prayer in your own relationship with God during this holy week, what is your prayer? And what is your message of faith for Americans? Donald leans back in the recliner and closes his eyes. He says, Well, I love the people of our country. And we are bringing our country back. I want to pay my deepest love and respect to all of the families and friends of those who perished so sadly. It was so incredible, how it came upon us, this Invisible, I call it, this Invisible Enemy. And it’s just a terrible thing. But if you throw handfuls of flour in the air, Jeanine, the flour drifts down and lands on the invisible enemy, this is what Rudy has discovered, you throw it up and then it outlines the Invisible Enemy, so, you know, you can see it. So we’re working on that. We’ll see what happens. In terms of our success, which nobody can believe, they all say, How did you do that, and I say, This is America. We were doing things that this country had never done before, in terms of our success. And now we’ll rebuild it again. We’re going to rebuild it again, in honor of all those who perished, Jeanine. Death is terrible, it’s a terrible thing. But from death, Jeanine, and Melania was just saying this morning during prayer hour, from death, there is a life, and death shows us that life, where it is. They say, we have to keep it all together, which is, and I’ve said, as you know. But a lot of things are happening. And I think the stimulus coupled with this pent-up demand and everybody wanting to get out and go back to work, I think we’re going to have just a tremendous surge. I think it’s going to be like a rocket ship, I really believe that. We’ll have to see what happens. But there’s a lot of things happening. But you know, with all of that, we still have to remember all of the people that perished. We did it. We did it the right way. We took care of social distancing and all of the things, words that nobody ever heard before, frankly, and phrases. If we didn’t do that, if we would have bulled through it, you could have had, you know, there were estimates, 2.2 million people. Well, if you cut that in more than half and you said a million and cut that in half, you say 500,000, cut that in half you say 250,000, it just would have been unacceptable. So we’ve all had to go through a lot. The people of our country have gone through a lot. But we did it the right way. And we look like we’ll be coming in on the very, very low side, really below the lowest, the lowest side of the curve of death. I call it the curve of death. And it’s a horrible thing. But a lot of pain in the country, a lot of — a lot of great, great, serious pain. But we’ll be back bigger and better and stronger than ever before. That’s what this is all about. You watch. — Sunday, April 12, 2020