CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, November 2, 2019)
WASHINGTON – Donald says, Stevie, get over here and sit down, willya. There’s this transcript part coming up. Just get the coke and I think there’s a chili bacon dog by the fridge. Stephen piles up plates and grabs the coke, but, as he turns, the chili dog rolls off the plate and lands on the floor near something brown. Stephen puts the coke down, grabs the last dog, heads back to Donald who is poised with the remote in the recliner of the Executive Lounge. Donald says, It’s about time. You looking for a job in homeland security? Har har had. Donald sweeps some boxes and paper cups from the side table. Stephen puts the plates down. Donald says, You didn’t nuke it did you? Stephen says, The coke? Donald says, No, the dog. Stephen says, Absolutely not. No way. Stephen sees some pants tossed on the floor, grabs them, and wipes his shoe. He says, Chili or something. Donald grunts and punches the remote. On the screen Donald is rallying in Tupelo. The crowd is roaring. Donald pauses the teevee and says, Here’s a great part. He punches the remote. Teevee Donald says, The President of Ukraine said it was a very good conversation. There was no pressure. His foreign minister said the same thing, no pressure. They must think we’re nuts. To be honest, it’s all a phony deal — this whole impeachment scam — to try to undermine the 2020 election and to delegitimatize one of the greatest elections. Maybe the greatest. I mean, let’s give George Washington credit — but everybody expected he was going to win – that we’ve ever had. So my phone call, which was totally perfect and appropriate, and if you want to read the transcript, you see how perfect it was, but they don’t quit. But what you should do is take a look at the behavior of Sleepy Joe, so I quote, I said, let me act like him. Donald pauses the teevee as the crowd rumbles and rouses. He says, This is great. This is great. Listen to them! Stephen nods. Yes. Donald punches the remote and the teevee resumes. The crowd is boisterous. Donald pauses the teevee again. He says, These people are so much fun. They’re baving a great time with their president. Everybody enjoys Donald Trump, don’t you think? I am so funny and so not boring. Stephen says, Absolutely. No question. Donald punches the remote and the teevee begins again: I’ve got to speak really slow, though. And I said. You’re not getting a billion. I looked at them and I said, I’m leaving in six hours. If the prosecutor isn’t fired you’re not getting the money, you understand, you’re not getting the money. Then he goes at the end. I didn’t know he had this kind of energy. Son of a bitch, He got fired. You know in a certain way I was impressed because I mean I didn’t think he had the energy, the brainpower. He’s dropping like a rock. You know when you’re at 1 percent there’s always a reason. He should be there fairly soon. As you know, the Ukrainian prosecutor, that Biden got fired after threatening to withhold I think it was a billion dollars or something — and it was the prosecutor investigating his son’s company, that was paying Hunter Biden, a guy who just got thrown out of the Navy. He was paying millions of dollars, even though working for an energy company, he had no experience with energy. Donald pauses the teevee and picks up the chili dog. Stephen says, Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. They are eating out of your hand. Donald takes a huge bite. He says, I know. He says something else that Stephen can’t quite make out. Donald holds up his finger and puts the dog down on the side table and finishes chewing. Drips of tomato sauce splatter the lampshade. Donald says, I know. When you tell them the facts, they nod their heads and raise their hands and sign up. Once they know the facts, they don’t believe all the bullshit they’re seeing and hearing. It’s simple. These are reasonable people who just need stuff pointed out. Donald pushes the rest of the dog into his mouth and takes a big hit of coke. He chews as the teevee screen holds on.red hatted rally goers caught midgrin nodding their heads, cheers about to well up and burst forth as they continue to learn more and more and more. – Saturday, November 2, 2019