CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, March 14, 2020)
WASHINGTON – Donald picks up another piece of chicken and licks his lips. The teevee is still on mute. Donald says, I don’t know. But many are saying that the blacks are immune. Which makes sense when you think about it, Steverino. He takes a bite of chicken, dripping the BBQ onto his wrapper and the recliner in the Executive Lounge. Shit! Donald says. From the pile of old take-out boxes and used cups next to the recliner, he finds a plastic knife and scrapes most of the sauce and chicken up. Donald licks the knife. He says, They say the blacks can’t get it, Stevie, just can’t get it. Stephen says, I’ve heard that too. It’s probably genetic. But there are cases in black Africa. Donald says, Really? Stephen says, Yes, sir. In Ethiopia there was a death. Donald says, Yeah, Kudlow was telling me about that. But the dead guy, he was Japanese. So none of the blacks. A Japanese guy, which makes sense because the Chinese hate the Japanese. I’ve got a real hunch that the blacks can’t get it. Now listen, we could use that. We could use the blacks, send them into the hot zones. You know that’s a great idea. Send the blacks into the hot zones like Washington did. Many people don’t know, but he used the blacks too, sent them into the hot zones when Philadelphia was this nation’s capital and there was a yellow fever epidemic. White people dying left and right. They’d just puke and fall over in the street. Disgusting. So Washington just told the blacks to go on in and treat the sick white people. Jare was telling me. He’s been studying up on this stuff because I’m thinking about putting him in charge of the whole thing. He says leeches might work, but I told him no fucking leeches. Particularly no fucking leeches in the White House. Stephen says, Yes sir. Jared’s done great work for Israel in the Middle East. Donald says, Jare could handle it. We could maybe use Ben as a front man. Stephen says, A brilliant idea. No one else could have thought of it. Donald dips a chicken leg into the tub of BBQ sauce, and accidentally knocks the bucket over, spilling viscous goo over the arm of the chair, down the side, and onto the floor. Dammit! he says. Steverino, go get a paper towel or something. Donald takes another bite. He shouts over his shoulder, We could pay the blacks plenty, too, we could pay them from this corona fund Congress set up for me. Nobody deserves that money more than the blacks. They’ve been fucked over since George Washington, who used them to fight the yellow, do you know about that? Anyway, now we got the corona and I could use them, like Washington, use the blacks, especially my blacks, who could be like my ambassadors to the 2020 election. So it would be Trump and Washington. Trump and Washington. Stephen returns from the rear of the Executive Lounge with a pack of sani-wipes. Donald takes them and scrubs some sauce off the recliner. Stephen says, They could be super spreaders. Donald says, What? Stephen says, Super spreaders, they’re like the blacks that don’t get it but transmit it to lots of other people. Donald says, That’s bullshit, Stevie. I’m surprised. Stephen says, I’m not saying they will. I’m just saying it’s a possibility that we’ve got to consider. You don’t want the base to think you’re sending the blacks into their communities to make people sick. Donald says, No, no. Super spreaders? Huh. Never heard of them. Never heard. – Saturday, March 14, 2020