CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, June 6, 2020)
IN THE CYBER – Little Timmy, pup reporter, and the Professor’s small strike force are making their way toward a massive information cache hidden deep within the Dark Web of The Cyber. The sky is the color of a television, tuned to Captain Video, and the horizon is alive with bouncing Torbor monsters, violently animated and wearing kilts. Timmy says, Gee, Professor, this is the most random part of The Cyber I’ve ever seen. The Professor pauses and takes his pipe from the pocket of his sport coat. He knocks the bowl on a rock and peers inside for a moment. The Professor says, Oh, ha ha ha, Timmy. There is nothing random about The Cyber, we just need to find the organizing principle. The code for these areas of the Dark Web is deceptive, true. But we must remain focused on finding our way to the information cache. It is our best hope for depleting the Autocrat’s potency. At that point, Timmy sees that there are now little figures advancing across the field ahead. Timmy says, What are those? Sarah, his friend from the resistance potluck, says, Those are police avatars, representations of law enforcement. Wait, says Timmy’s friend, Mohammed. How can we be sure? Their badge numbers are covered with electric tape. Their uniforms bear no patches or insignia. Their faces are covered with masks and smoked face guards. They wear helmets girdling their heads. Their bodies are criss-crossed with ammunition belts and canisters of some kind are clipped all over their uniforms. Sarah points and says, Many appear to be wearing Sketchers knock offs! As the figures advance, they can be seen holding long guns and small rocket launchers. Boris, genial triple agent, says, Eet make me feel right at home. They are just like Poohteen’s men. Pete, one of the rag-tag band of elderly pirates and groupies who have allied with the Professor, cries, Quarters! Out, lads, out, and fight ’em in the open! Cutlasses! But the line of heavily armored little men stops at a distance. One steps forward from the mass and offers up a small box to the open air. Timmy says, What’s happening? What are they doing? The men swarm toward the box, knocking it to the ground. Donuts tumble out in disarray. Another figure steps forward, a small child in his arms, a kindly smile on his face. An old lady appears, hobbling across the field. Two armored figures rush over to her, taking her elbows and helping her walk. A kitten wanders onto the scene and quickly climbs a lone tree. Several figures climb after it and help it down. Timmy says, They are enacting all the clichés about police! The light falling across the field turns dark. Sarah says, Not all the clichés, not yet. A rumble comes across the sky. Timmy shouts, Incoming! The band hits the ground. A tweet hits the ground and explodes. DOMINATE! rumbles everywhere, followed in rapid succession by the rat-tat-tat of LAW & ORDER! LAW & ORDER! The armored figures lift their shields and begin to advance. The elderly woman falls to the ground. They kick her aside. The kitten is trampled. Sarah says, We are fucked. But at that moment, a counter force appears. Ordinary people step onto the field. Another rumble is heard. Timmy shouts, More incoming! They dive to the ground. The tweet lands with great force. There is a reptilian hiss and a message rises up in a cloud of green gas: Riot gear or military control is not necessary because ANTIFA & other Wacko groups of Anarchists aren’t present to cause trouble. Incredible people. Thank you Maine! In the distance a ghostlike presence can be heard calling out, Lindsey, my beautiful Lindsey, please, please, you mustn’t be afraid. Lindsey! The voice fades away. – Saturday, June 6, 2020