CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, July 13, 2019)
WASHINGTON — Donald’s wrapper is in disarray as he collapses onto the recliner in the Executive Lounge. He grabs a Kit Kat and rummages around on the side table for the remote. There is a knock at the door. Come! Mike enters, falling immediately to his knees. Oh Sire! Mike says, arms outstretched, it has been akin to a sentence in burning Hades to be out of your sight! Mike prostrates himself and then wiggles, fishlike, across the floor, stopping at Donald’s right foot. The slipper is off and a fan is aimed at the shriveled toes, dead skin scaling away and drifting to the floor. One of the nails is black and thickened by an unusual fungus, lending a hooflike appearance to the foot. Donald says, Yes? Mike begins the licking ritual. It takes some time to complete, given the extent of creeping dead skin. Mike finally says, Oh Sire, I have returned from the border and I can report there is nothing unexpected or out of the ordinary there. The effluence of our border commorancies is sweet, and the ministry of our agents is sublime. We have gathered many of the uneducated and unwashed, the halt, the sick, the lame; we have gathered the little children and we have suffered them. It is a miracle to behold and a complete exculpation. Oh Sire, you have shown the freedom that comes to those who accept these earthly chains! I received a communiqué from our pastor who is thrilled with the gathering of the children. He believes it is a blessing, as does Mother, of course. They are monitoring the progress of the crusade from their command center in Las Vegas, near the Qua Baths at Caesars. Donald says, Yeah. Great. Stop with the feet, okay. We got a problem with Jeff. Mike says, Most Blessed Highness, there can be no problem with Jeff. Jeff is the answer. Jeff ties it together. Donald says, Go on. Mike says, The global Satanic Pedophile Conspiracy is held together by the sweetheart deal between Mueller and Jeff. Do not forget, Magnificence, that Mueller was the director of the corrupt and sickening FBI at the time there was the sweetheart deal between Jeff, the Deep State and the federal government, which two are the same thing, as you know. It is common knowledge, also as you know, because, Most High, you are anything but non-common, that Jeff was an informant for the FBI. From his clandestine reports, we have much information on Bill and Hillary’s presence on the island. This comes directly from Betsy’s brother, Eric the Red, who has been monitoring various sexual hot spots around the world. Obama’s main purveyor of this corruption is the brimstone loving Mueller with his cloven fictions. Donald is silent for a moment. He says, Is there video? Mike says, I believe we have some interesting tapes of the demon Mueller and the 16 angry Democrats, at least 16, culling the little children. We have it on good authority that the Four Horsewomen who recently cheated their way into the so-called congress, are seeking the most ripe of the children. Donald is again quiet. Finally he says, Proceed to the next toe. – Saturday, July 13, 2019