CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, January 5, 2019)
The Dark Ones have set up a permanent base in the Chamber of Consternation, the new addition to the vast central plains complex. All video and audio feeds are now pulling in sounds and visuals from Washington and the West Wing. The elder brother, his cup of green tea quite cold, is slumped on a settee staring at images of piles of trash near an iron fence surrounding Lafayette Square. The younger brother is staring at his own slippers. He says, Play it again, my brother. The elder silently punches a remote and one of the many screens erupts into an image of the gambler showman, arms crossed sitting at conference table. The younger says, I do not wish to hear the flatulent encomiums coming from those the gambler showman has around him. Their remarks are deeply tiresome. Skip to his preposterous history lesson. The large screen fizzes with great speed and stops at Donald speaking, arms crossed, leaning back, caught mid-sentence: … reason Russia was in Afghanistan was because terrorists were going into Russia. They were right to be there. The problem is it was a tough fight. And literally, they went bankrupt. They went into being called Russia again, as opposed to the Soviet Union. You know, a lot these places you’re reading about now are no longer a part of Russia because of Afghanistan. Nobody knows bankruptcy like I do, and they were smart, very smart to change the name, so the Soviet Union owes everybody everything, but Russia, they don’t owe nobody nothing. It’s like AC all over again. And you just walk away and nobody can touch you. And Syria. by the way, was lost long ago. It was lost long ago. And besides that — we’re talking about sand and death. That’s what we’re talking about. We’re not talking about, you know, vast wealth. We’re talking about sand and death. You don’t want sand and death, but we want sand and death, and I told Mattis, I said, No sand and death, we don’t want that, and… The younger brother grabs the remote. Stop! he says, and Donald is wiped from the screen. The younger brother says, You see it is simple to erase the gambler showman. The elder says, My brother, it is indeed odious that the gambler showman is parroting the propaganda coming from the Eastern despot. It is so naïve to think that a communist will change his spots. I share your distaste and I dare say the servi are unhappy with it as well. The younger says, I fear you are mistaken, my brother, the servi enjoy a good teevee show, and the gambler showman is providing them with that like never before. But we cannot let our decades of work be undermined by the sky high ratings of the White House Gong Show. The elder says, On the other hand, my brother, the gambler showman has now suggested he will keep the government closed for years. This could well be the opportunity of a lifetime, of several lifetimes. We must be prepared to take advantage. Are the garbage trucks and plows ready? The younger says, We have fleets on call across all of our holdings, coast-to-coast. The elder says, Then I submit we bide our time. If we wait, we will be rewarded beyond our wildest imaginings. Patience, my brother, has always been our greatest virtue.