CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, January 25, 2020)
WASHINGTON — Stevie, you can’t reuse a pike, Donald says. Can’t be done. If you got a head on a pike, then that’s it, you can’t put another head on it because then it looks, when you jab it into the ground for people to see, it looks like you got baked potatoes on a skewer, you know, like several potatoes, so you only have the one head. Stephen reaches over and grabs a handful of taco chips from the side table. Donald says, The Collins woman, she’s a piece of work, but she knows about the pike. She don’t want to go there, so we just put the story out there, and she gets all frantic. Oooo, it’s not true. It’s not true. Not only have I never heard the ‘head on the pike’ line, but also I know of no Republican Senator who has been threatened in any way by anyone in the administration. That’s what she said, and of course we don’t make threats. No threats. Promises made, promises kept. But no threats. Stephen says, Murkowski stepped up to the plate for us too. She doesn’t want to see any ridiculous accusations, absurd accusations tossed out there. Donald says, Murkowski, she don’t want to do the pike either. She knows there’s been a big shipment of racks to Anchorage. A big one. Sends a message. You see a cargo ship off-loading huge crates of Iron Spiders, sends a message. So we got the Iron Spiders up there, the Spanish Donkeys — they are great! – the Scold’s Bridles, the Iron Maidens, we got all the amenities for the people of Alaska. Stephen takes another handful of chips. There is a crash from the rear of the Executive Lounge. Donald takes some chips and roots around for dip. Donald says, You know, I’m a student of history. Stephen says, Absolutely! Donald continues, And one of my most interesting studies is Richard Nixon. A great president, but soft, I told him he was soft. We were meeting in the Oval and I think Chuck Colson was there, and Nixon was asking me about Vietnam, and I told him, Dick, I called him Dick, because, you know, he was around, so I said, Dick, When you got em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow. That’s what I told him. Colson even wrote it down, they say. Donald munches thoughtfully on some chips. Gun shots break out, startling Stephen. Donald says, Stevie, Stevie. It’s just Hector taking care of some vermin on the loose back there, relax. . – Saturday, January 25, 2020