CSI: American Carnage (Saturday, December 8, 2018)
The Times guy presses his way into the Off the Record bar and walks over to the Post guy who is sitting at a table drinking a beer and popping wasabi peas into his mouth at a furious rate. The Times guy says, Hey. Glad you’re here. What a night. You file? The Post guy says, Oh yeah. Political synergy. Mueller put it in quotes. He must be quoting something or someone. But Individual-1’s associates say it actually proves no collusion. The Times guy says, It does? I thought it proved that Cohen was in touch with big-shot Russians in 2015 and they told him they could engineer political synergy between Individual-1’s campaign and the Kremlin. The Post guy says, Well, yeah, that would be the conventional read. But Individual-1 and his associates rejected the big shot’s offer, they argue. You reject something, it doesn’t happen. Ergo: No Collusion. The Times guy says, Barkeep! A Brewdog Sink the Bismark! And more wasabis! The Post guy says, That interpretation explains the tweet. The Times guy says, You mean Individual-1’s tweet that says today’s court filing totally clears the President? Followed by a Thank you! — that tweet? The Post guy says, Yeah. The Times guy says, Do you think Individual-1 read the filing? The Post guy says, No. He’s relying on somebody who scanned it. Miller maybe. Whittaker. Who knows. You see Rick tonight? No, says the Times guy. The Post guy says, Here, take a look on my cell. He pulls out his cell and rolls a video of Rick Wilson on the teevee. Don Lemon looks at Wilson. He says, Okay, Rick, so there were a lot of tweets but they ended with this one: Totally clears the president. Thank you. I mean, is he talking about Obama? Is he talking about Bush? I don’t know. But him? Rick says, I’m not sure Individual-1 understands exactly how the law works. Because just wish-casting yourself and saying ‘Oh, I’m cleared now, it’s all good’ is, you know, Donald Trump fabulism writ large. This is a guy who clearly spent the day in a growing state of anxiety and rage. I mean this morning was some classic rage tweeting. And you’ve got to imagine they were trying to beat the door of the john down trying to get the guy out so he’d stop tweeting this morning. Don says, Yeah, here are 14 angry tweets from Individual-1 today. Rick says, This is not a well man, Don. This is a guy who honestly believes that he can change the fabric of reality and make the law go away by tweeting at it. There’s a lot of things today that are going to accrue in the assessment of Donald Trump including the fact for the first time the Department of Justice has said that Donald Trump asked his minion, Mike Cohen, to commit felonies. This is an ugly, bad, no-good day for Donald J. Trump. The Post guy pockets his phone. He says, That’s the way it is. The Times guy says, A couple more Brewdogs, barkeep. He turns to his friend and says, There’s gonna be blood on the streets before this is over. The Post guy says, There already is. The guy who slammed his car into Heather Heyer in Charlottesville was convicted of murder today. The Times guy says, I know, I know. I’m afraid of what could be coming.
— Saturday, Dec. 8, 2018