CSI: American Carnage (November 17, 2020)
“I have won”
WASHINGTON – It is late. Donald is slumped on the vibrating recliner in the Executive Lounge. His wrapper has fallen open exposing a walnut sized mustard stain on his boxers, dribbled pickle juice on his jammy top, and something brown that seems to have dripped from the ceiling onto his chest. The teevee shows a bright field of raspy snow. Behind him, past the kitchen, the polycarbonate shield, which Mike assured all was indestructible, has cracked wide open and wispy white tendrils of mold are stretching throughout the lounge. The stench is overwhelming. Donald pays no attention. He is focused on the field of teevee snow, carefully watching all that it reveals. He says, I won the election! I won! No mistaking! There is the win! Right there! I have won! There is a knock on the door. Donald says, Come, and Mike flops in on his belly, eyes down. He wiggles over the spilled food and crud on the floor, taking aim on Donald’s fungus-encrusted big toe. Donald holds it up and Mike places his lips around it, sucking and swallowing the decayed particles of dead skin. Donald breathes a sigh of relief. He says, Rise. Mike scrambles up and says, Oh Majesty! I have come to inform you of the good news! You have won virtually all of the states and the forces opposing you are falling by the wayside! Congratulations! Donald grabs Mike’s hand and pulls him down. He whispers hoarsely into Mike’s ear, What do you mean, virtually? Their bodies are intertwined as Donald bites hard into Mike’s neck, drinking deeply. Mike sighs. He goes limp. Donald ejaculates a yellow stain. The blood flows. Mike says, Oh, Oh, Oh. Oh master! Donald tosses him aside and wipes the red smear across his lips. He runs his tongue over the blood’s metallic taste. He says, I have won! Mike says, Oh, Master! Your bite is sublime. Donald grunts. He says, I won. I won! Mike says, Of course you won! Donald says, Now bring me the head, you know, the top part, which is mine, the head of the pretender, I want it, and I want the heads of the others, the others who have, you know, been disgusting against me. And I want the heads of the Iranian plotters and killers, and their Democrat allies! I want the blood of the people who have opposed me, the ones who think they can hide. I want the blood of the ingrate browns. The blood of the women, the blood from their wherevers. I want the blood of the nasty college students who know nothing but conning people for money and then stiffing them. I want the blood of the homosexuals and I want the blood of their agenda. I want the blood from the fat-cat tax cheats. I want the blood of the Black women, the blood of the Black men, the blood of the suburban women with their shirtwaists and vacuum cleaners and their pussies. I want the blood of the French and their nasty friends, the Germans. Send out the Cubans, send out the Mexicans, send out those who are immune from the COVID, the party goers and beach bunnies, the hedge-funders, the drug makers, the gold bugs. I want it all! They must gather all, every last one, and bring it all me! Bring them all to me! So that I may eat and void this irrepressible hunger! I have won! I have won! I have won!