CSI: American Carnage (Monday, March 30, 2020)
WASHINGTON – In the back of the Executive Lounge, NIH has installed experimental UV mold-abatement lighting, but work stopped after one technician was reported missing over the weekend. Donald, pauses the rerun of his Rose Garden presser and says to Stephen, So we need to look into this health stuff, something I’ve been saying all along. Are they with us? I don’t know. A lot of people wonder about it. There is a loud crack from the rear of the Executive Lounge as the mold behind the polycarbonate shield consumes the rear bathroom, filling it with a sweet putrescence. Donald pays no attention as he finds a piece from a bucket of nuggets spilled beneath the sidetable, brushes it off, and eats it. He says, Stevie, did you order from Boston Market again? I told you to forget them. We are not putting any more money into Old Joe’s pocket, or any of them else. Plus, their chicken is horrible, horrible. Stephen says, I haven’t called them since last Tuesday, right before you put in the directive. Donald says, Okay, so this was from Tuesday. No more. No more lining the Kennedy pockets, and I don’t want any of them on the show, either. The show is a smash. Stephen says, Absolutely a smash. A phenomenon for our times. There hasn’t been anything like it on teevee since 21, and you are a far greater star than Charles Van Doren. Donald cinches his wrapper and settles back into the recliner. He says, Van Doren was a looser, just like his old man, and he showed it on the show. The teevee is paused with an image of Yamiche Alcindor. Donald gestures toward her. She’s a looser, just like Van Doren. You know, Steverino, you push on these thugs and braggarts and they just collapse. Look at her. I could say something about the way she looks, but I’m not that kind of guy. Stephen says, No, you are absolutely not. Donald says, I could say something, but I won’t, because, Stevie, once we win this thing, she’s not gonna be in a position to threaten me. She’s not gonna be in the Rose Garden throwing words all over like a super spreader, and, you know, I don’t care, they call me a racist, they call me mean, I don’t care. I’m for the American people. It’s a fact that they say the Blacks can’t get it, doesn’t matter, because I am saving the Blacks, all the Blacks, not just my Blacks, so she is on the list, too, even though she is a vicious, threatening attacker. Stephen says, Your patience is a wonder, sir, just like your sense of justice. Donald says, You got 3 million people that are gonna be killed by this thing, that’s what I’m saying, that’s what the country believes now, 3 million, a lot of the medical people say that, but I’m gonna cut it to below 100,000, and she’s gonna be one of them, but she doesn’t get it. Stephen says, No. Donald says, And even if I don’t get it below the 100,000, a beautiful number, we can get close, which is not easy because Andrew and his petty, two-bit family can’t keep their sticky fingers off of the ventabulators, or whatever they are, can’t keep their fingers off them, just like back in the neighbohood when they couldn’t keep their fingers off the pussy. But here’s the thing – these ventilators, they are going into the hospitals through the front with us and they are going out the back with Andrew and his fucking brothers and nephews, which they then sell back to us at a cut rate. Stephen says, A circle. Donald says, So I guess you could say it’s mutually beneficial. We provide hundreds of thousands of venerables, and Andrew sells them back at a discount. We then return them at wholesale cost. This is a win-win for everyone, which is the point. That threatening reporter could never grasp the beauty of the circle, which is why she’s not long for the Rose Garden. Work up the proposal, okay, you can read it to me after I finish watching the show. – Monday, March 30, 2020