CSI: American Carnage (Monday, July 20, 2020)
WASHINGTON – Aced it, Steverino, aced it in spades, Donald tells Stephen, as they confer in the Executive Lounge. The teevee is on pause. Okay, Donald says, these Fake News™ people can’t answer my question. I just threw it out there, I said, But Hunter, where’s Hunter? Where is Hunter, by the way? That’s what I said, soon as I unpause it, you’ll see, it’s next up. Pass me that cup cake on the other side of the table, the one next to the electric. Stephen reaches down beneath the table and disturbs something that gives a faint screech and scuttles under an old tissue wad. He grabs the cup cake and hands it to Donald. Stephen says, Biden is barely there and he loves the illegals infesting every clean American place. Donald says, The census will cauterize the infection. The illegals. Cauterize. We will use the Article Two, which is my Article, and we will get rid of the disease once and for all because the Article Two of our great patriot Constitution, that gives me the power of the executive, the authority, and I will order what this country needs. Stephen says, You have complete authority. You can get rid of the Congress. Donald says, You know, Joe Biden and the Radical Left want to Abolish Police, Abolish ICE, Abolish Bail, Abolish Suburbs, Abolish the 2nd Amendment – and Abolish the American Way of Life. No one will be SAFE in Joe Biden’s America! Stephen says, You can protect America, Mr. president. You can save America. Only you. Only you can make all this world seem right. Only you can make the darkness bright. Donald says, Biden can’t tell a camel from a what do you call it? Stephen says, A rino? Donald says, Yeah. Camels shit all over rinos like Steve Schmidt and Claire MacGaskill. Destroy the Suburbs? Are you kidding me? The great suburbs, historic, like Grosse Pointe. That’s what they call it. Gross, which is not a good name for a suburb but when their blacks and the festerers take over, that’s what it’ll be called. But that’s not gonna happen, Stevie, no way, because I’m a backstop and there is no way they are going to get around me even if they use one of those balls with eyes, which women love, particularly in places like Gross Point. Because it is Gross. It’s disgusting. But I am president and I can stop it. Or not. Depends on what the women want. Get me a Sobe, will you. – Monday, July 20, 2020