CSI: American Carnage (Monday, December 17, 2018)
Donald sits back in his lounger late at night in the Executive Lounge. Stephen says, I let her have it, right in the kisser. Donald says, Pass those cheese thingies over, will ya, and get me a coke. I’m gonna tivo up the Face the Nation. Donald tightens his wrapper. He says, Hey Stevie, get my toe pick too, will ya, it’s in the fridge. Kelly! Kelly! Kelly sloshes out of the bathroom with his flippers and mask. Donald says, You get that information on Napolitano I asked for? I want to know where he lives. I want to know how he lives. I want to know how he slipped through Fox security. I want to know about ever wart on his ass. This is a serious breach. You can’t have terrorists and fucking criminals pouring into the country and going right onto the teevee. Kelly says, The Napolitano information requested is on the table. Donald says, Cause Joey’s coming down, see. I’m not gonna have Joey come all the way down from AC for nothing, okay. That would not be right. That would be unseemly. That would not be serious. Kelly says, the information is next to your elbow on the table. Kelly says, Judge Napolitano believes that you have broken the law. He still supports you. He still asserts that the Kenyan, pushed by the New World Order, tapped the bejezus out of Trump Tower. But he believes you broke the law. What does that mean? Does it mean that you are not the president of the United States? Does it mean that your agenda, whatever it may be, is not worthy of support? Does it mean you should be removed from office? No. None of that. Nothing like that. As Kilmeade said to the judge, and as millions of Americans heard, he told the judge, Well if like, for example, Reverend Wright is speaking out, making candidate Obama look bad, and someone walks up to Reverend Wright and says, Hey, can you stop making the senator look bad? He’s running for president – what does that have to do with the campaign? But yet it is – that might influence how I vote. Kelly adds, The judge didn’t buy whatever that means. It’s as simple as that. He didn’t buy, but he’s still shopping. Without the law, there would be no prisons, that much is obvious. Prisons may be built with stones of law, but money well spent, buys a get out of jail free card. Donald says, Joey’s coming down and he’s gonna deal with this Napoleon guy. Okay. Finish the fucking bathroom. You only got a few days. Stephen returns. Donald says, You get the toe pick? Stephen says, Right here. Donald says, Okay, I’m putting on the Face the Nation. What fucking nation are they talking about anyway? I always wondered that because Obama never faced my nation. We wouldn’t be in this mess if that happened. Stephen says, Can we start? There’s a really good part when she whines about the kid that croaked and I point out to her that it’s left-wing activist judges that killed that kid, not our guys, which she never would have heard of if that was the case, and if we don’t get the wall, there’re gonna be a lot more problems. They’re gonna be falling like flies. That’s what the Dems want. Donald says, Yeah. And Obama. Stephen says, Yeah, and Obama, of course. Absolutely.