CSI: American Carnage (Monday, April 8, 2019)
WASHINGTON — Ok, Stevie, this is how it’s done, Donald says, relaxing in the recliner of the executive lounge. He turns the Magik Fingers to the soothe setting, pauses the teevee, and summons Hector. Hec! Hec! More guac for my friend Stevie here! He’s had a hard day. Stevie says, Not as hard as you, sir. Hector detaches from his wall port, fetches dip from the dip room, places a bowl next to Donald, and returns to his niche. Donald grabs some chips. Stephen says, You finally got rid of the Nielsen woman. What a drag on operations she’s been, but your leadership finally won out, sir, as always. She had to go. All this legal and illegal crap she spouts about. Here’s the thing, sir, when you have an illegal, there’s nothing they do that’s not illegal, it’s a logical impossibility. So all this nonsense about whether it’s okay to do this or that, bust or not to bust, expel or not expel, it’s all nonsense. You don’t owe these illegals anything except a visit to the cages and an escort right the hell out of here. It’s just like when you’ve got a cockroach infestation. What do you do? Debate capital punishment for bugs? No. You get rid of them. Donald says, No shit. Getting rid of these illegal animals who are carrying on like their illegal parents, if they are their parents, which in many cases just isn’t so, but the fucking dimwit Dems use it all and complain, lemme, okay, this is what you do when they claim ooo, you can’t do that, it’s illegal, cause you know that’s what they always say, ooo, it’s illegal, you just say, Fuck you, no, you’re not getting the president’s taxes, he’s under audit. No, you’re not getting the fricking Mueller report, it’s got national security threats in it that the president of the United States has determined will harm the United States of America. This is the president, okay, not some shlub from the corner in Queens. I am the president, and people have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook. I tell em that plain and simple. I am not a crook and Jerry Nadler is not entitled to this information. He is doing this to get it to the Democrat 2020 nominee. That’s all illegal. What they are doing is criminalogically treason. If I gave these people what they want, it would be facilitating the crimes, and the stealing of the election, which they tried to do back in 2015, 2016, which is what this is all about. I would be participating in their crimes by giving them any fucking thing. And I am not a crook. So fuck them. But, and here’s the thing, Stevie, I got Devin to force these corrupt and conflicted FBI coupmasters, to look at The Eight. There are eight individuals, Stevie, who are behind this entire sick effort to destroy Trump. But guess what. Stephen says, What? Donald says, They are in for a big surprise. You just watch over the next couple of days, or maybe a couple of weeks, watch for a big surprise. Donald grabs a handful of chips and ramps up the Magik Fingers to the mitigate setting. Watch for the big surprise, Donald says. The Eight. More or less.