CSI: American Carnage (Friday, September 27, 2019)
The silence in the cathedral weighs heavily on the hooded figures filing in. They arrange themselves before the altar, heads bowed. The high priest, his rutted face hidden in shadow, begins to speak.
What is the complaint?
The complaint is baseless.
Who brings the complaint?
A traitor.
What is the substance of the complaint?
We have not read it.
Let us pray.
Where does the information come from?
The information is second hand.
Who is spreading the information?
A partisan with extreme political bias.
What is the motivation?
Hatred of the president.
Let us prey. Fellow worshippers. Do not bow down before the nothing burger. Do not kneel before the altar of ignorance and mudslinging. Do not rush to judgment with all the facts. Do not make hasty decisions with our nation’s future as a plaything of those with insidious motives and revenge in their hearts. Do not kowtow before the pyre of flat-out lies and distortions. Do not genuflect before the improperly appropriate inappropriation. Do not succumb to those who want to dial back the past to 2016 over and over again. And before that.
Let us pray.
What is the proper course?
Sober investigation.
What must be scrutinized?
The real corruption.
What must be examined?
The corrupt conspiracy of Joe Biden and his son Hunter Biden.
What should be the focus?
CrowdStrike.
Who should spearhead the investigation?
The Justice Department.
The White House.
Corey Lewandowski.
Who should be freed?
The Russians.
Let us pray.