CSI: American Carnage (Friday, March 20, 2020)
WASHINGTON – It is deep in the night. The streets are empty. There is no traffic. One figure can be seen tottering down the street, dark overcoat unbuttoned, red cap pulled down, scraggles of desiccated peachy hair jutting over the ears. The figure ambles slowly along, arms hanging like plumb lines. He looks up. There, on the Lincoln Memorial, a group of the unemployed public sits, each person six feet from the next. A fragrant odor fills the air, unrecognized by the stroller. He stops and sniffs and mutters to himself, Could be grease, probably not grease, or maybe the incense from the Indians, my Indians, not the Indians here, the other ones. He looks up again and seems to think. He says, Okay, why not? Why the hell not? He veers off the sidewalk and approaches the group. Several recognize him. Some reach for his hand. He says, I bring you greetings from the president, who I am, as you probably know, and I saw you here and I wanted to say that we are doing great, great, and, uh, like the great senator, Ron Johnson said, and he is strong on the Second Amendment, strong on our troops, he said, and I hope you remember as you sit here enjoying this great night, which your country is giving to you, he said, Getting coronavirus is not a death sentence except for maybe no more than 3.4 percent of our population, and that’s what the facts are, not what you read in the Fake News™, which I created, don’t forget, and so we’re here, with you, at this great spot where Lincoln is celebrated for his terrific job, and they hated him too, although not as much as me, no one has been treated worse than me, ever, not in the whole of the history, and you can search, but I want to leave you with the words that I’m about to say, which you can lean on because we are all fighting this together, and it is no match for us and our great might, we are very strong in the fight, which is already going on, as you know, on the beaches, like when I blocked everyone coming from China, I said, No! They will not come in to our beaches or to our landing grounds, nearby, and to those who think they have it easy because they made it to fields and some others to streets, we are going in after them, with the dogs, too, the dogs we sent in after Big Daddy, Abu Baker, the ICE guy from Baghdad, in the hills we’re gonna fight, and we’re gonna win this thing because we are respected and feared. The crowd has gathered round in silence, looking. Someone says, What about the stock dumping? Another says, Who’s in charge? Another says, Who’s on first? The red-capped figure figure waves, and seems not to hear. The questions grow louder. Test kits? Masks? Got any bats to eat? The figure waves some more. He gives a thumbs up, turns, and walks down the steps, as the questions grow louder, Snakes? How about some snakes? Ventilators? The figure reaches the bottom of the steps and continues on, disappearing into the darkness. – Friday, March 20, 2020