CSI: American Carnage (Friday, June 26, 2020)
NEW YORK – The Times guy pours himself a BrewDog and settles into the desk chair of his daughter’s old bedroom, door closed against the onslaught of cats. He takes a drink and powers up. The Post guy appears on his computer screen, sitting in a deck chair on the patio behind his house. Hey, he says. They raise glasses to each other. The Post guy says, Great job on the SDNY stuff. Just saw it posted. The Times guy says, Thanks. Our guys really dug into the Cohen thing. The Post guy says, Yeah. You see Donald on Hannity? The Times guy says, Absolutely. Everything is perfect. Perfect tape on the Ukraine shakedown. Perfect tape of Papadopoulus. Perfect tape of Flynn, such a nice man. Stone, perfect. The Post guy says, And Donald, don’t forget Donald — he tells Hannity, Donald says, All these guys were after me. They spent 45, 49, 55 — I hear all different numbers — million dollars over a period of two and a half years. And they got nothing on me. The Times guy says, Stinkin coppers got nothin. He has another drink. The Post guy says, At least Donald’s got big plans for his second term. The Times guy says, Oh? I must have missed that part, an editor called with a total rewrite of my lede. What’d he say? The Post guy says, Funny you should ask. I can post it to you. Take a look. A little screen pops up on the Times guy’s computer. There’s Sean and Donald at the plate. Sean lobs the softball in. He says, Let’s talk about a second term. If you hear, in 131 days from now, at some point in the night or early morning, We can now project Donald J. Trump has been reelected the 45th President of the United States, What’s at stake in this election as you compare and contrast? And what are your top priorities for a second term? Donald is ready. He pauses for effect. He says, Well, one of the things that will be really great — you know, the word “experience” is still good. I always say talent is more important than experience. I’ve always said that. But the word “experience” is a very important word. It’s in a very important meaning. I never did this before. I never slept over in Washington. I was in Washington, I think, 17 times. All of a sudden, I’m President of the United States. You know the story. I’m riding down Pennsylvania Avenue with our First Lady, and I say, This is great. But I didn’t know very many people in Washington. It wasn’t my thing. I was from Manhattan, from New York. Now I know everybody. And I have great people in the administration. You make some mistakes. Like, you know, an idiot like Bolton, all he wanted to do was drop bombs on everybody. You don’t have to drop bombs on everybody. You don’t have to kill people. The Times guy drains his BrewDog and stares slack jawed at his computer. – Friday, June 26, 2020