CSI: American Carnage (Friday, July 12, 2019)
BENEATH THE DESERT – Little Timmy, pup reporter, sees a bright flash far down the main tunnel of The Cyber leading west. Professor! he shouts. Some kind of new weapon! Everybody get behind the rock outcropping. Now! Move! Move! Move! The flash becomes blinding as it gets closer and closer. The tunnels fill with a pounding drone. The flash hits the wall. Communist! Communist! Communist! It is followed by a red, white, and blue rainbow of multicolored lights that strike the walls and detonate. An eerie body can be seen through the smoke, it spins slowly, mouth open in rage, enormous head about to explode. Gorka! Gorka! Gorka! emanates from the area around the bulbous bearded head. The tunnels echo with shouts of Punk! Punk Punk! A rumbling shakes the ground. Kick your punk ass! Kick your punk ass! Gorka! Gorka! Gorka! Timmy says, What the? Boris, genial triple agent and a loyal member of the Professor’s small strike force, says, Eet ees Gorka! He has wormed way back into White House. Mohammed says, I thought he was too extreme even for the president. The Professor says, Yet here he is, throwing his bombs. Sarah, Timmy’s friend from the resistance potluck, says, It is typical of the autocrat. He employs these extremist elements to ensure divisions remain wide. He exploits them. Who is this Gorka? He is no more than a Nazi, certified, a failed Hungarian plagiarist and social climber, much like the president, but lacking his flair for baroque total fabrication. The autocrat will use him like a hammer and toss him when the pounding is complete. Mohammed, Timmy’s friend, says, There is some kind of event at the White House. Some kind of social media showcase. The president is complaining that his followers are being blocked from joining social media. The Professor says, The twitter, he is always saying his tens of millions of followers are being blocked on the twitter. Sarah says, Of course he says that. He is a victim. Boris says, It is not true. Sarah says, Of course not. Timmy says, There is a dark cloud developing down the tunnel, everybody. It looks like dirt and sludge and toxic waste congealing and forming into some kind of deadly weaponized slur. The Professor says, No, I don’t think so. It looks more like a whining entity. Here it comes! Behind the rock everyone. The strike force dives behind the rock as the grey-black cloud forms and reforms in the main tunnel. Boris says, It is a message. Mohammed says, It must be a stray tweet, perhaps from his remarks to the social media Nazis and racists and Muslim-bashers and the legions of nativists. They watch as the brackish cloud reforms into a statement. The Professor says, Go read it, Boris, and report back. Boris scrambles over to the dissolving and reforming words. He reads: There’s no doubt in my mind that I should have millions and millions – I have millions of people, so many people I wouldn’t believe it, but I know that we’ve been blocked, People come up to me and they say, Sir, I can’t get you. I can’t follow you. The Professor smiles in triumph. He says, I knew it! I knew he’d be complaining about something that does not exist. — Friday, July 12, 2019